Turn and Face the Book
by kandisi
Summary: They all have facebooks to tell, but someone isn't very happy about it. Bottom line... Sylar really needs to get off of facebook.  In fact, they all do, and the not-so-happy someone is telling them all to their faces.


**Title:** Turn and Face the Book**  
>CharactersPairings:** Peter, Sylar, Peter/Sylar, Claire, Angela, Noah, Hiro, Ando, Ando/Kimiko, Matt, Mohinder, Micah, Emma, Hesam, Hesam/Emma, Tracy, Luke, West, Alex, Claude, Eric Doyle, Gretchen, Matt/Janice, Claire/Gretchen, hints of Rachel, Millie, Kimiko, Lauren, Bo, Josh, Evan, Ian, Molly, Eric Matthews, John, Robert, Amanda, and Samuel.**  
>Rating: <strong>T/PG-13 **  
>Summary:<strong> Sylar really needs to get off of facebook. In fact, they all do.**  
>Warnings:<strong> Complete crackfic, some language, slashiness, subtext everywhere**  
>Timeset:<strong> Post-season four.**  
>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own Heroes in any way shape or form, or FB, and do not make any money off writing this; it was just for fun and to pass free time.**  
><strong>

**A/N: **I noticed the FB via fic streak when it began to cover many fandoms nearly a year ago, and since then, I've read a number of fics where segments take place on FB, or the whole fic. So I thought... why not? I'd give it a shot, too. x)

-This fic is not meant to offend FB users, because then, I would be offending myself as well. x);  
>-This fic should not be taken seriously, and does not necessarily reflect my viewsopinions about any character or the topics discussed therein, or FB.  
>-I initially wrote this in less than a day, which means it's gonna be bad, and ridiculous.<br>-This turned out longer than I had intended, so I didn't get as many individual facebooks in as I would have liked to, lol...

Well... proceed with caution, and kudos to everyone out there for giving me inspiration with their FB featuring fics. :)

**Turn and Face the Book**

**–  
><strong>

_**Facebook 0, Prologue**_

"I'm very sorry it had to come to this... Okay, I'm not, but let's _face_ it... we have been spending too much time on face_book_... Don't you all agree?"

No answer.

"Don't get me wrong," he said, casually swinging the baseball bat in his hands. "It's nothing personal, but," he shrugged, "I should be able to get into bed at night without the person next to me being more intent on pleasing their laptop than me." He looked around the room, from person to person. "You _can_ understand my feelings, can't you?"

No answer.

"And to make matters worse, it's taken all the fun out of more traditional stalking." After he had pointed the bat at a particular person, he went on to say, "You're the only one of us with the power to make things right here, so I guess we need to have a little talk... in real life, IRL, or whatever." He spun around, and then, pointed the bat to the person who was being suspended in midair. "And _you_... damn, I think you set back proper human interaction to somewhere around 4.5 billion B.C."

He pointed the bat to another person. "_You_ would know just how bad that is, but so is the stuff you write," he said, tapping the end of the bat against the palm of his free hand, smirking at him. "It's thought-provoking but tends to give off that 'idek' effect, you know? And _you_," he pointed the bat again, "would be better off warning us about your dreams in person, or not at all, rather than on facebook."

Following another sigh, he asked, "Don't _any_ of you have anything to say to me?"

No answer.

"Well," he said. He continued to pace around the room, bat over his shoulder, while everyone just sat (or floated) and stared at him. "I guess I can't blame any of you for resisting the urge to retort, since I am keeping all of you immobilized, but... it's for the best. Your mobility would encourage mobile phone use."

Silence.

"Now," he said, smiling, "let's play a game, one where I ask each of you the same question three times, and if any of you answer that question wrong three consecutive times," he swung the bat hard, "then I bash your skull in, and you're out of luck, probably life, too. We 'cool' on that?"

Silence.

"_Cool_, let's get started..."

0.0.0

_3 Days Earlier..._

_**Facebook 1, Claire Bennet**_

**Claire Bennet**  
>There's a guy in my window... again...<br>-2 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Gabriel Gray<strong> likes this.

**West Rosen**  
>It wasn't me?<br>-2 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Well, hell...<br>-2 hours ago – Like – 13 people

**Gretchen Berg**  
>I'll get him for you! xD<br>-2 hours ago – Like – 23 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I already got him.<br>-2 hours ago – Like – 10 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>Whut, Peter?<br>-2 hours ago – Like – 18 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I didn't mean like that and you BOTH know it.<br>-2 hours ago – Like

–

**Recent Activity  
>Claire Bennet<strong> is now friends with **Lauren Gilmore** and **1029 other people**.

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Claire, there is no way you know all of these people.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – Comment**  
>-Noah Bennet<strong> and **Peter Petrelli** like this.

**West Rosen**  
>Sylar, there's no way you know any people<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 256 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>LOL.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 87 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>She really should watch how many people she adds...<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 3 people

–

**Claire Bennet**  
>Whoo, Gretch and I are going to the movies! :D<br>-Yesterday at 4:23pm via Android – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Gretchen Berg<strong> and **37 others** like this.

**Emma Coolidge**  
>That's sweet. :)<br>-Yesterday at 4:26pm – Like – 18 people

**Noah Bennet**  
>Don't worry, I'll be there as soon as I can.<br>-Yesterday at 4:27pm – Like – 1 person

**West Rosen**  
>Will u go with me next week?.!.?.!.?<br>-Yesterday at 4:33pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Oh wow, the movies. How tactically exhilarating.<br>West, you're an idiot.  
>-Yesterday at 4:48pm – Like – 2 people<p>

**West Rosen**  
>Didn't she cut u yet?<br>-Yesterday at 4:50pm – Like – 47 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Have I cut 'you' yet?<br>-Yesterday at 4:52pm – Like

**West Rosen**  
>I'm sooo scared.<br>-Yesterday at 4:55pm – Like

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Have fun, Claire!<br>And guys, 'cut' that out.  
>-Yesterday at 4:59pm – Like – 26 people<p>

–

**Claire Bennet** was tagged in **Noah** **Bennet's** album**  
>Family Photos<strong>

Yesterday – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Eric Doyle<strong>,** Rachel Mills**, and **13 others** like this.

**Peter Petrelli  
><strong>:).  
>-Yesterday at 2:14pm – Like<p>

**Gretchen Berg**  
>AWWW!<br>-Yesterday at 2:18pm – Like – 15 people

**Eric Doyle**  
>Hey it's a Barbie!<br>-Yesterday at 2:23pm – Like – 24 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>How very sweet, dear.<br>-Yesterday at 2:40pm – Like – 12 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I think you should remove the tags.<br>-Yesterday at 3:12pm – Like – 1 person

**Max Rogers**  
>gabe pal i tink u shuold remove ur face.<br>-Yesterday at 3:22pm – Like – 9 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Max, who are you, exactly?<br>Never mind, I'd rather not know, as I would rather not associate with idiots.  
>Kick him off, Rebel.<br>-Yesterday at 3:26pm – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>lol.<br>-Yesterday at 3:27pm – Like

–

**Recent Activity  
>Claire Bennet<strong> started playing **CityVille.** – Like – Comment – Play CityVille

**Micah Sanders**  
>YES.<br>-Wednesday at 6:02pm – Like – 54 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>NO...<br>-Wednesday at 6:08pm – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>That game is awesome.<br>-Wednesday at 6:12pm – Like – 502 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Maybe for people like you who can cheat at it.<br>-Wednesday at 6:18pm – Like

**West Rosen**  
>That game IS awesome.<br>-Wednesday at 6:45pm – Like – 214 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I think I just made my point on why it's sad.<br>-Wednesday at 6:58pm – Like

–

**Recent Activity  
>Claire Bennet<strong> is now friends with **Chris Bowman** and **907 other people**.

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Claire, you have got to stop accepting all these friends' requests. You have enough stalkers, don't you?<br>-Monday at 5:55pm – Like – Comment

**Noah Bennet**  
>I... admittedly agree with Sylar...<br>-Monday at 5:57pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Yeah...<br>-Monday at 6:02pm – Like – 1 person

**Gretchen Berg**  
>As long as she's mine. :)<br>-Monday at 6:05pm – Like – 16 people

–

**Claire Bennet**  
>I'm out having lunch with Angela PLEASE HELP ME.<br>-Monday at 12:02pm – Like – Comment

**Noah Bennet**  
>I would but I'm already here.<br>-Monday at 12:09pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>...sorry...<br>-Monday at 12:15pm – Like

**Tracy Strauss  
><strong>:(...  
>-Monday at 12:20pm – Like<p>

**Gretchen Berg**  
>Aww it can't be THAT bad. :D<br>-Monday at 12:24pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>It can be that bad.<br>-Monday at 12:30pm – Like – 17 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Sylar, you need to get off.<br>-Monday at 12:37pm – Like – 37 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>You would know, wouldn't you?<br>-Monday at 12:39pm – Like – 6 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>Woah.<br>-Monday at 12:43pm – Like – 33 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Matt... seriously. :  
>-Monday at 12:45pm – Like – 1 person<p>

**Ando Masahashi**  
>I'm sorry, Claire.<br>And IDEK 2 the rest.  
>-Monday at 12:58pm – Like – 144 people<p>

–

**Recent Activity  
>Claire Bennet<strong> likes **One Block Radius** and **two other pages.**

**West Rosen**  
>YEAH, OBR!.!.!<br>-Monday at 10:10am – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Claire Bennet<strong> and **22 others** like this.

**Ando Masahashi**  
>WOO. XD<br>-Monday at 10:30am – Like – 8 people

**Monica Dawson**  
>You go, Claire!<br>-Monday at 10:43am – Like – 12 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>XD!<br>-Monday at 10:49am – Like – 6 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I don't get it.<br>-Monday at 11:12am – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I don't care to get it.<br>-Monday at 11:23am – Like – 1 person

**West Rosen**  
>Dude, no liking your own comments, please.<br>-Monday at 11:29pm – Like – 137 people

0.0.0

"_Hello?"_

"_Claire."_

"_Goodbye."_

"_Please wait... that West guy wanted me to call you again..."_

"_I'm busy."_

"_On facebook, I know, but West says he can't get a hold of you there due to your page overloading, and he wanted me to ask you to contact him."_

"_...And why couldn't he have called me?"_

"_He's too busy on facebook."_

"_Oh, alright. I'll contact him, bye."_

"_Claire, but," he said, his words trailing off into silence. "Damn, she hung up... I guess I'll just have to talk to her in person, since that is the abnormal thing these days."_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 2, Angela Petrelli (Angela Shaw Petrelli)**_

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Some people are too stupid for their own good, Peter.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Gabriel Gray<strong> and **Tracy Strauss** like this.

**Peter Petrelli**  
>What people?<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Um, WOW.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Sylar, who was that WOW directed at?<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Again, WOW.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>...Wow.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Lauren Gilmore**  
>Lol wow.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Yes, wow.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>What the hell are you all talking about? Is 'WOW' also some sort of inside-joke that abbreviates into something else between you guys?<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>WOW...<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Well 'WOW' to you, too!<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Thanks?<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Angela Petrelli**  
>I'm deleting all of this.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

–

**Angela Petrelli**  
>As I sit here, I wonder whatever happened to America's youth.<br>-Yesterday at 8:01pm – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Noah Bennet<strong> and **8 others** like this.

**Noah Bennet**  
>I agree.<br>-Yesterday at 8:08pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Yeah, really.<br>-Yesterday at 8:19pm – Like

**Millie Houston**  
>Tell me about it, Angie.<br>-Yesterday at 8:25pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>They were euthanized.<br>-Yesterday at 8:30pm – Like – 2 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Maybe they just started listening to a lot of rap and stuff?<br>-Yesterday at 8:41pm – Like – 3 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>Maybe they didn't want to grow up to be like you guys.<br>-Yesterday at 10:03pm – Like – 4 people

–

**Recent Activity  
>Angela Petrelli<strong> changed her **Quotations**.

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Some of your quotations are pretty neat. :)<br>-Yesterday at 7:47pm – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Angela Petrelli<strong> likes this.

**Ando Masahashi**  
>The ones about honor are good.<br>-Yesterday at 7:51pm – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Huh, those are philosophically interesting.<br>-Yesterday at 8:23pm – Like – 1 person

**Claire Bennet**  
>I think I just fell asleep.<br>-Yesterday at 9:01pm – Like – 7 people

–

**Angela Petrelli**  
>I had a dream...<br>-Yesterday at 10:02am – Like – Comment

**Noah Bennet**  
>And now I need a drink.<br>-Yesterday at 10:08am – Like – 14 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>FUCK.<br>-Yesterday at 10:18am – Like – 23 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>I'm going to Neptune now, goodbye.<br>-Yesterday at 10:24am – Like – 5 people

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Nooo...<br>-Yesterday at 10:32am – Like – 9 people

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Matt, she'll still find you there.<br>-Yesterday at 10:40am – Like – 6 people

**Ando Masahashi**  
>And I was having a good day until tonight. :(<br>-Yesterday at 10:43am – Like – 4 people

**Millie Houston**  
>Huh?<br>-Yesterday at 10:48am – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Was I in this dream?<br>-Yesterday at 11:05am – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Sylar, that WOULD be your only concern.<br>-Yesterday at 11:07am – Like – 12 people

–

**Recent Activity  
>Angela Petrelli<strong> and **Mohinder Suresh** are now friends. – Like – Comment

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Damn Mohinder I thought you were smarter than this.<br>-Wednesday at 2:30pm – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Oh, then what are you doing on her page?<br>-Wednesday at 2:58pm – Like – 8 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>I have nothing to say.<br>-Wednesday at 3:14pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Parkman, you just said something.<br>-Wednesday at 3:18pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>I said NOTHING.<br>-Wednesday at 3:22pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>What do you call those seventeen letters, then? Are they not something?<br>-Wednesday at 3:25pm – Like – 1 person

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Are those eleven letters in your name not nothing?<br>-Wednesday at 3:29pm – Like – 10 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>LOL.<br>-Wednesday at 4:15pm – Like – 1 person

–

**Angela Petrelli**  
>I was previously at Zale's, where the attendant had the sheer nerve to attempt to persuade me into buying a set of diamonds which were less than two carats...<br>-March 31 at 5:57pm – Like – Comment

**Millie Houston**  
>HORRIBLE, just HORRIBLE!<br>-March 31 at 6:04pm – Like – 2 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>That is bad, don't go back there.<br>-March 31 at 6:15pm – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Yeah, it's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.<br>-March 31 at 6:29pm – Like – 13 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>I just sent you a private message, Peter.<br>-March 31 at 6:32pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I read it and I don't CARE if you do that because I'm NOT going!<br>-March 31 at 6:40pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>What?<br>-March 31 at 6:42pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>NOYB.<br>-March 31 at 6:45pm – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>LOL someone's going to France...<br>-March 31 at 6:46pm – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Message me, Micah.<br>-March 31 at 6:48pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Micah I WANT you to STOP jacking up ppl's accounts!<br>-March 31 at 6:51pm – Like –11 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>"Jacking up ppl's" accounts?<br>It's "hacking into people's" accounts, Peter.  
>-March 31 at 7:00pm – Like – 3 people<p>

–

**Recent Activity  
>Angela Petrelli <strong>likes **Golden Girls** and **one other page.**

**Millie Houston**  
>:) Love the GG, you always did have great taste, my dear.<br>-March 31 at 12:05pm – Like – Comment

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Did ANY of you bother to check the one other page?<br>-March 31 at 4:03pm – Like – 39 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>...WTF.<br>-March 31 at 4:10pm – Like – 3 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Uh...<br>-March 31 at 4:13pm – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>That's... disquieting in itself.<br>-March 31 at 4:45pm – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>What's wrong with a little porn?<br>-March 31 at 4:52pm – Like – 44 people

0.0.0

"_Goodbye," she said, then making an attempt to slam the door in his face._

_He held out his hand; palm slapping against the door. The door remained open while he stared at her, warningly._

"_We need to talk."_

_She sighed. "About what?"_

"_Your dreams, I would think," he said, tapping his fingers against the doorframe. "After all, your 'it was awful' status statement on facebook somehow managed to mutate into the world ending on your son's thirty-second birthday."_

"_Did you not get my private message?" she asked._

"_Yes, I did," he replied, smiling. "However, I think things of such importance should be discussed in person, and not on facebook."_

_Angela smirked at him. "Perhaps," she said, pointing her finger in his face, "but you may get tired of that soon enough once this over, so do yourself a favor and go buy a baseball bat since it's a safer weapon of choice for you." After he had taken a step back, she took a step forwards; her hand still on the outlining of the door. "Goodbye dear, I have to get on facebook now."_

_The door slammed._

"_A baseball bat?" he muttered._

_Why would __**he**__ need that?_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 3, Matt Parkman**_

**Matt Parkman**  
>AWW little Matty just made his little rubber ducky SWIM around in the TUB! I love my son! And my beautiful wife! :)<br>-11 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Janice Parkman<strong> and **8 others** like this.

**Mohinder Suresh  
><strong>:).  
>-11 hours ago – Like – 1 person<p>

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Go baby touch and go! :D<br>-11 hours ago – Like – 6 people

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Quack!-! :D<br>-11 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Hee! That's SO great!<br>-11 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Wow you guys are idiots.<br>-11 hours ago – Like

–

**Matt Parkman**  
>I killed a guy today...<br>-Yesterday at 7:43pm – Like – Comment

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>?.!.?.! Call me!<br>-Yesterday at 7:46pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>WHAT?<br>-Yesterday at 7:50pm – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Want me to blink by so we can talk about it?<br>-Yesterday at 7:51pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Guys, he's a cop. What do you expect?<br>-Yesterday at 7:52pm – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>It's still sad. :(<br>-Yesterday at 7:56m – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Oh okay, I feel better knowing he didn't actually go out and murder someone for kicks, then.<br>-Yesterday at 8:03pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>WOW...<br>-Yesterday at 8:04pm – Like – 13 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>WOW yourself!<br>-Yesterday at 8:07pm – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>You two gonna do that everywhere?<br>-Yesterday at 8:34pm – Like – 5 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>They already have done it everywhere.<br>-Yesterday at 8:36pm – Like – 14 people

–

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Hey Matt, we still on for tonight?<br>-March 31 at 1:20pm – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Matt Parkman<strong> likes this.

**Matt Parkman**  
>Sure!<br>-March 31 at 1:20pm – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>That's what I call true love.<br>-March 31 at 1:20pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>How many times am I going to have to remove you from my FB?<br>-March 31 at 1:20pm – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>However many times it takes.<br>-March 31 at 1:20pm – Like – 1 person

–

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Matt, can you hit me up? I need a favor.<br>-March 30 at 9:34pm – Like – Comment

**Matt Parkman**  
>...What kind of favor?<br>-March 30 at 9:41pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>He needs a fix.<br>-March 30 at 9:43pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>YOU need a fix.<br>-March 30 at 9:46pm – Like – 3 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>TLC-pathy was never my DOC, Peter.<br>-March 30 at 9:48pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Is that what it's for? Nudge, nudge.<br>-March 30 at 9:54pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Yeah.<br>-March 30 at 9:58pm – Like – 1 person

**Matt Parkman**  
>Okay, you can come by right away.<br>-March 30 at 10:03pm – Like – 2 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Okay, Hiro and me are on our ways.<br>-March 30 at 10:07pm – Like – 6 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Peter you better NOT even THINK about it!<br>-March 30 at 10:08pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Then QUIT STALKING ME.<br>-March 30 at 10:10pm – Like – 11 people

–

**Recent Activity  
>Matt Parkman<strong> changed his **profile picture.**

March 29 –Like – Comment

**Janice Parkman**  
>That's my hubby!<br>-March 29 at 6:22pm – Like – 1 person

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Great pic!<br>-March 29 at 6:35pm – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Is that your driver's license photo, Parkman?<br>-March 29 at 6:58pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>I just removed you, how'd you get back on my FB?<br>-March 29 at 7:02pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I have the ability to make your life miserable, remember?<br>-March 29 at 7:05pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>I remember, and I don't know how I ever forgot.<br>-March 29 at 7:09pm – Like – 1 person

**–**

**Matt Parkman**  
>Okay, to those of you who can see this, I want to know which one of you sent me that stupid shit last night.<br>-March 29 at 11:03am – Like – Comment

**Peter Petrelli**  
>What was it?<br>-March 29 at 11:11am – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>I didn't send anything.<br>-March 29 at 11:23am – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>I assume I am a suspect, as this post is visible to me, but I have no idea what you are talking about.<br>-March 29 at 11:48am – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Seriously, what was it?<br>-March 29 at 11:58am – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>You mean the swimsuit photos?<br>-March 29 at 12:07pm – Like – 2 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>I should have known...<br>-March 29 at 12:10pm – Like – 3 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Wait, what?<br>-March 29 at 12:13pm – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Well he WAS at the club so I thought he'd like them.<br>-March 29 at 12:16 – Like – 1 person

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>...Yes, what is going on here?<br>-March 29 at 12:20pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Ando, you tell anyone I was there and I'll tell Kimiko you were there.<br>-March 29 at 12:21pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Oh I get it now.<br>-March 29 at 8:33pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>WOW...<br>-March 29 at 8:35pm – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>STOP THAT!<br>-March 29 at 8:38pm – Like

0.0.0

"_Matt, don't you know how to keep your mouth shut about 'certain things' on facebook?"_

"_I don't have time to talk to you right now," Matt said, slamming the door to his car. He looked down at his mobile phone, eagerly checking out a few things... "It's really, __**really**__ great that __**you**__ would decide to drop in on me out of nowhere like this again, but I'd appreciate it if you left so I could take care of some important stuff."_

_He raised an eyebrow. "Important stuff? As in facebook?"_

"_Yeah," Matt replied, typing a few things into the keypad of his phone. "I haven't outed you or anyone else on facebook, but I do have a right to my opinions," he flipped his phone shut, "so see you 'round, I've got to go inside now and prepare dinner so Janice and me can make sure we're on facebook before lights out."_

"_Are you insane?"_

"_No, but __**you**__ are," Matt smiled at him, "so goodbye."_

_The front door shut._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 4, Emma Coolidge**_

**Emma Coolidge**  
>Mercy Heights was crazy today...<br>-5 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Hesam Malik<strong>,** Alicia Hammer**, and **4 others** like this.

**Peter Petrelli**  
>We're seriously understaffed.<br>-5 hours ago – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>Peter, we're overstaffed.<br>-5 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Then how do you explain how out of control things got today?<br>-5 hours ago – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>There was a power shortage in ICU.<br>-5 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>WOW...<br>-5 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I'm not going to say what I have to say to you on Emma's page.<br>-5 hours ago – Like

**Emma Coolidge**  
>I'd actually like to read it.<br>-5 hours ago – Like – 3 people

–

**Recent Activity  
>-Emma Coolidge<strong> is in a relationship with **Hesam Malik.** – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Hesam Malik<strong> and **12 others** like this.

**Hesam Malik**  
>ILU!<br>-Yesterday at 8:20pm – Like – 1 person

**Claire Bennet**  
>Congrats!<br>-Yesterday at 8:26pm – Like – 1 person

**Gretchen Berg**  
>AWW. :)<br>-Yesterday at 8:28m – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Whatever makes you happy, but I think you could have done better.<br>-Yesterday at 8:35pm – Like – 2 people

**Hesam Malik**  
>You're that freak from Peter's page.<br>-Yesterday at 8:39pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>You're that freak from Peter's limousine.<br>-Yesterday at 8:45pm – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>That didn't make any sense at all.<br>-Yesterday at 8:50pm – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>It really didn't make sense...<br>-Yesterday at 8:59pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>WOW...<br>-Yesterday at 9:01pm – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Urm, guys? I think he was making a joke about Hesam driving Peter around in the ambulance.<br>-Yesterday at 9:05pm – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Oh... well, that was mean.<br>-Yesterday at 9:09pm – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>Peter, I think you and I need to have another talk...<br>-Yesterday at 9:18pm – Like – 2 people

–

**Recent Activity  
>Emma Coolidge<strong> likes **Skype.**

**Hesam Malik**  
>Woot! That's my Em. :D Skype me!<br>-Wednesday at 8:13pm – Like – Comment

**Micah Sanders**  
>Oooh YEAH, SKYPE ME, TOO.<br>-Wednesday at 8:22pm – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>What's that?<br>-Wednesday at 8:34pm – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>You just set yourself up, Peter. I give it thirty seconds...<br>-Wednesday at 8:35pm – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Peter... um, WOW...<br>-Wednesday at 8:36pm – Like – 2 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>You don't know what it is either, Gabriel.<br>-Wednesday at 8:37pm – Like – 6 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>LMAO.<br>-Wednesday at 8:39pm – Like – 2 people

–

**Emma Coolidge** was tagged in **Peter Petrelli's** album**  
>Best Friends<strong>

April 1 – Like – Comment

**Claire Bennet**  
>Cute! :D<br>-Wednesday at 5:23pm – Like

**Eric Doyle**  
>Nothin' like a blonde dame.<br>-Wednesday at 5:28pm – Like – 3 people

**Hesam Malik**  
>Why are you dancing with him?<br>-Wednesday at 5:30pm – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I would sort of like to know, too.<br>-Wednesday at 5:32pm – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>Emma's taken.<br>-Wednesday at 5:35pm – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>Um, I hate to say it, Hesam, but WOW...<br>-Wednesday at 5:36pm – Like – 21 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>STOP hacka-jacking everyone's accounts, Micah!<br>-Wednesday at 5:39pm – Like – 2 people

0.0.0

"_Emma. Hey, Emma!"_

"_I can't hear you."_

_He sighed. "But you are looking at me, so will you please talk to me?"_

"_In a few minutes," she replied, typing away on the computer. "What brings you here, though?"_

"_I have become relatively tired of associating with everyone I know through... wait," he said, his words trailing. Emma was staring at the computer monitor, which meant... "You're not paying any attention to me..."_

_On the brighter side, he got away with saying a whole line of curse words, and with breaking a nearby computer that wasn't in use._

_Then, he left._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 5, West Rosen**_

**Alex Woolsly**  
>DUDE, WHERE'S UR CAR?<br>-3 hours ago – Like – Comment

**West Rosen**  
>WHERE'S UR CAR, DUDE?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Alex Woolsly**  
>DUDE, WHERE'S UR CAR?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**West Rosen**  
>WHERE'S UR CAR, DUDE?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Wtf.<br>-3 hours ago – Like – 4 people

**West Rosen**  
>Found it. :)<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Is that from a movie or something?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>You're gonna get it in five seconds, Peter.<br>-3 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Peter... just, WOW...<br>-3 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>FUCK YOU.<br>-3 hours ago – Like – 6 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Don't you wish?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I KNOW YOU DO.<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**West Rosen**  
>You guys are -really- weird.<br>-3 hours ago – Like – 18 people

–

**West Rosen**  
>Girls ask for guys, it's always a surprise, there's nothing better than do you like my sweater!<br>-6 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Monica Dawson<strong> and **4 others** like this.

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Rock it!<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Monica Dawson**  
>That brings back memories. X)<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>What about your sweater?<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Oh... okay. Um, WOW to THAT.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 7 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>Seriously, wow.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I don't listen to that shit.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>You cared enough to google it, though.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 27 people

–

**West Rosen**  
>I took this flight today (metaphorically speaking) up to the North Pole, just to check it out. Had I gone there (for real), it wouldn't have been fun, because of how cold it would have (literally speaking) been.<br>-16 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Noah Bennet**  
>Geez, West...<br>-16 hours ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>You should have known better (metaphorically speaking).<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 5 people

**Alex Woolsly**  
>I sort of know where you're coming from, only I was under and not over it.<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Please don't do it again.<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Please DON'T, because I'm not coming up there to get you again. You're not the only one who freezes when they fly over the North Pole!<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Jennie Sheens**  
>West, excluding Claire, who are all these weird(er) friends of yours?<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 203 people

0.0.0

"_West," he said, sighing into the phone. "If you want to get in touch with Claire, there really are better people to go through than me."_

"_Name a few."_

"_Gretchen, Allison, maybe a few family members."_

_West shrugged, nearly dropping the phone. He was holding it to his ear with his shoulder, as his hands were currently busy with the keyboard. "They're all too busy on facebook," he said, casually._

"_I really don't give a damn," he replied, tightening his grip on the phone in his right-hand. "The next time you want to talk to Claire, I suggest you fly on down and—"_

"_Holy shit!"_

"_What is it?"_

_After over thirty seconds of typing, West said, "My roommate's robotic girlfriend just changed her relationship status to 'single', and I need to find out what's going on, so bye."_

_Dial tone._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 6, Hiro Nakamura**_

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>New guy on the staff reminds me a little of Picard, but I suppose that's nice because we have too many Kirks in the building.<br>-4 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Really? I never noticed.<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>O... kay?<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I feel that way about Clarks and Olivers.<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Peter, what about the Xavier supervisor?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>That guy ROCKS, and he's got a friend like Dr. Hank McCoy!<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Very good! And did you get the new Dungeons and Dragons yet?<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Neh, I'm still stuck on FF-X2.<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>You guys are sad.<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 6 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>At least we're happily sad.<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 7 people

–

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Hiro, do you want to go to l-v-n after we get off from work?<br>-8 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Gabriel Gray**  
>...If he's in the same building with you, WHY do you need to ask him on FB?<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 5 people

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Ando, why do you want to go there?<br>-8 hours ago – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>I'm bored, and Kimi's on girl's night out.<br>-8 hours ago – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Oh okay.<br>-8 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Sylar, I would think they don't WANT Kimiko to find out they're going to Vegas.<br>-8 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Brilliant move, Peter... so WOW.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Kimiko Nakamura**  
>You two are NOT going to Las Vegas!<br>-8 hours ago – Like

–

**Recent Activity  
>Hiro Nakamura<strong> started playing **Kingdoms of Camelot.** – Like – Comment – Play Kingdoms of Camelot

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Neat!<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Sad...<br>-15 hours ago – Like

–

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>STOP PRANK CALLING DIAL-A-HERO! :(<br>-Yesterday at 8:04pm – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Ando Masahashi, Peter Petrelli<strong>, and **4 others** like this.

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>I was worried that would happen eventually.<br>-Yesterday at 8:12pm – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>They won't stop!<br>-Yesterday at 8:16pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>I hate calls like that, too. Hope you find out who it is.<br>-Yesterday at 8:45pm – Like – 3 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I hate those, too! God, don't people have anything better to do than to prank call people working a serious job where lives are at stake?<br>-Yesterday at 9:00pm – Like – 4 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I won't call again, Peter.<br>-Yesterday at 9:02pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>...So you WERE responsible for that phony dispatch Hesam and I had to respond to!<br>-Yesterday at 9:05pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I wanted to see if you'd ACTUALLY consider taking a day off after what happened at that Toys R Us.<br>-Yesterday at 9:07pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Take it to your own pages, guys.<br>-Yesterday at 9:15pm – Like – 18 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>Seriously.<br>-Yesterday at 9:22pm – Like – 5 people

0.0.0

"_Hiro."_

"_Just a second."_

_He sighed inaudibly, rubbing at his forehead. "Don't tell me, you're on facebook."_

_Hiro held up his phone. "I just left you a nice message there, though," he said, teleporting away; phone and all..._

"_...What the __**hell**__ is going on here?"_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 7, Noah Bennet**_

**Noah Bennet**  
>OH MY... I'm in Fiji right now and I just got shot at by a psycho!<br>-19 hours ago via Android – Like – Comment

**Noah Bennet**  
>GOT HIM, right in the femoral!<br>-19 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Okay he's dead.<br>-19 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Now we're hiding the body.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>We decided to burn it.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Okay, the body is no more. :)<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>You're gonna get it for this; in comments.<br>-18 hours ago – Like – 38 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Noah, are you fucking insane?<br>-17 hours ago – Like – 15 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Idek, Noah...<br>-17 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Claire Bennet**  
>Dad... :(<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Gretchen Berg**  
>Awesome.<br>-16 hours ago – Like

**Lauren Gilmore**  
>I TOLD you to put your phone away!<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 5 people

**Claude Rains**  
>Cheers, idiot.<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Throw your cell-phone away, please. All of them.<br>-14 hours ago – Like – 7 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>Noah that was... okay, I don't even know, either.<br>-14 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Friend, you do know the FEDs may see this, right?<br>-13 hours ago – Like – 15 people

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Weird...<br>-12 hours ago – Like – 8 people

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>o.O;...<br>-12 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**West Rosen**  
>That was pretty cool, even though you are clearly out of your mind.<br>-11 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Noah. Please. Get some help. Now.<br>-10 hours ago – Like – 11 people

**Rachel Mills**  
>Damn, the man with a plan.<br>-9 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Take out the comma, Rachel.<br>-9 hours ago – Like – 22 people

–

**Noah Bennet**  
>When one has a DAUGHTER, they would APPRECIATE it if CERTAIN PEOPLE left her ALONE, especially if those CERTAIN PEOPLE happen to be paranoid SOCIOPATHS.<br>-Yesterday at 8:02pm – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Peter Petrelli<strong>, **Gretchen Berg**, and **9 others** like this.

**Angela Petrelli**  
>I am afraid there's really not much you can do, Noah.<br>-Yesterday at 8:08pm – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I'm gonna kick his ass, again. And again.<br>And again and again and again.  
>-Yesterday at 8:20pm – Like – 1 person<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Noah, go to hell.<br>Angela, go to hell.  
>Peter, come on over.<br>-Yesterday at 8:22pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Already been to hell, kthx.<br>-Yesterday at 8:24pm – Like – 3 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>Dad I agree but um please stop making half of your statuses about me.<br>-Yesterday at 8:26pm – Like – 54 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>I find it disturbing (though not at all weird) that the person who liked Peter's ass-kicking comment was Sylar.<br>-Yesterday at 9:02pm – Like – 11 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>LOL.<br>-Yesterday at 9:05pm – Like – 1 person

**–**

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Noah, you need to answer your phone.<br>-Yesterday at 5:23pm – Like – Comment

**Noah Bennet**  
>I'm not here right now.<br>-Yesterday at 5:25pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>No one's here right now because we're all HERE right now.<br>-Yesterday at 5:28pm – Like – 18 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>What...?<br>-Yesterday at 5:30pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>...oh WOW...<br>-Yesterday at 5:32pm – Like – 3 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Noah, ANSWER THE PHONE OR I AM GOING TO HAVE YOUR ASS!<br>-Yesterday at 5:35pm – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Sexy.<br>-Yesterday at 5:38pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Sylar, I just flipped you the bird over the internet.<br>-Yesterday at 5:41pm – Like – 6 people

–

**Recent Activity  
>Noah Bennet<strong> likes **Republican Party**.

**Micah Sanders**  
>01000011111110101000101.<br>-Thursday at 8:23pm – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Ando Masahashi<strong> and **51 others** like this.

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Huh.<br>-Thursday at 9:01pm – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>The only 'real' appropriate places for political discussions are places that do not exist.<br>-Thursday at 9:53pm – Like – 13 people

**Claude Rains**  
>Here here!<br>-Thursday at 9:57pm – Like – 3 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Shove it, Sylar.<br>-Thursday at 10:11pm – Like – 4 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Don't ANYONE turn that into a joke! TRUST ME!<br>-Thursday at 10:13pm – Like – 18 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>That joke's officially on you now, Peter.<br>-Thursday at 10:15pm – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>What...?<br>-Thursday at 10:18pm – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>Um WOW...<br>-Thursday at 10:18pm – Like – 1 person

0.0.0

"_Can I help you?"_

"_Yes," he said, "by talking to me."_

_Noah smiled at him. "Sure, mister sanity, anything you say."_

"_That wasn't funny," he muttered, folding his arms._

"_Seriously, though," Noah said, sitting back in the rotating chair and placing his hands in his lap, "what are you doing here?"_

"_...Do I need a reason besides wanting to talk with you?"_

"_Hm." Noah titled his head, tapping his chin in thought. "Unless that reason somehow involves either the end of the world, or some heroic-villainous deed that sounds simple but will really send you on an insane journey," he shrugged, "then no."_

"_...I see," he said under his breath, the hands of his folded arms fisting. "You're that eager to get back on facebook?"_

"_That __**and**__ for you to leave." Noah spun around in his chair. "Lauren will be back soon, and I don't need you here stirring up trouble like you always do, so just send whatever it is you wanted to tell me to me on facebook in a private message." He began to type. "Oh, and I know __**you**__ of all people aren't having 'callous' thoughts about me at the moment. You're a nice guy, right?"_

"_Right," he said through gritted teeth._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 8, Mohinder Suresh**_

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing. If we cannot see things clearly we will at least see clearly where the obscurities are.<br>-1 hour ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Gabriel Gray<strong> and **Angela Petrelli** like this.

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Fear not the darkness, but the light the shadows bring.<br>-1 hour ago – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>The train does tend move faster when one stands still than it does when one is in motion.<br>-1 hour ago – Like – 2 people

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>It came to a rather abrupt halt, my very thoughts crashing on that train into the very opposite of blankness, and yet, that prior vacuity had less ambiguity than the presentiment of a scattered state of being.<br>-48 minutes ago – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Add more than the two opposites to the pattern, but don't mix them into too many shades. Rationalization is, unfortunately enough, often a person's way of justifying excuses.<br>-20 minutes ago – Like – 2 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Sometimes, however, the end result would not be possible without abandoning our moral standards.<br>-10 minutes ago – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>True, but reality may beg to differ.<br>-4 minutes ago – Like – 2 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Are you guys stoned...?<br>-2 minutes ago – Like – 1,000 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Micah...<br>-just now – Like – 1, 308, 209, 228, 993 people

–

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>I was sad today... a certain 'friend' of Mira's looked under the scope, and then... she thought the plant cell was an animal cell... I really do try to disassociate it from bad phenotypes, but it's difficult when you are dealing with what one might refer to as an 'airhead'.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Gabriel Gray**  
>She sounds really stupid.<br>Probably is bad phenotypes.  
>-6 hours ago – Like<p>

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>The exterior is genetically superior; it's the neurons that have ceased to piston.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>"My girlfriend has this really hot friend with great boobs, but she's annoying because she has an IQ under one million."<br>See, I made my comment just like yours! :D  
>-6 hours ago – Like – 17 people<p>

**Matt Parkman**  
>THAAANK YOU PETER.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 5 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Wow... wow for real...<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Everyone who has a girlfriend isn't fond of at least one of their friends.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 9 people

**Gretchen Berg**  
>It's Allison, isn't it?<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

–

**Matt Parkman**  
>Mohinder, you wanna... you know, later?<br>-Yesterday at 2:28pm – Like – Comment

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>I still don't know if I'm ready for that just yet.<br>-Yesterday at 2:30pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>But it'll be all kinds of fun!<br>-Yesterday at 2:33pm – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>But what if we get caught?<br>-Yesterday at 2:35pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Then I'll use my head and you use your hands.<br>We're good at that, and we can get away with it.  
>-Yesterday at 2:38pm – Like<p>

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>It still seems a little strange to me...<br>-Yesterday at 2:41pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Come ON, you have to come!<br>Ando and Hiro have already done it, too. Even Peter.  
>And everyone's snuck into a movie theater without paying at LEAST once in their lives.<br>-Yesterday at 2:45pm – Like

**Gabriel** **Gray**  
>WTFWT...<br>-Yesterday at 2:47pm – Like – 17 people

–

**Ando Masahashi just answered a question about Mohinder!**  
>Mohinder has new questions to unlock.<br>-Yesterday at 11:02am via 21 questions – Like – Comment – See what they said

**Micah Sanders**  
>LOL!<br>-Yesterday at 11:03am – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Micah... STOP hacking our FB accounts, please!<br>-Yesterday at 11:07am – Like – 7 people

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>And Ando, I AM a good kisser!<br>-Yesterday at 11:10am – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Well, well, well.<br>Look who liked YOUR previous comment, Mohinder.  
>-Yesterday at 11:15am – Like<p>

0.0.0

"_Hello, Mohinder..."_

"_Hello, bastard."_

_He sighed. "What makes me a bastard __**this**__ time?"_

_Mohinder smirked, almost as if he bore some hidden piece of knowledge to which the other man was unaware of. "You made another nasty comment about me on facebook," he said. He raised his chin, glaring at the unwanted visitor. "It was on Ando's page, during a comment you made to Matt, and I refuse to accept __**any**__ more of your 'apologies' to me..."_

"_Mohinder," he mumbled, shoulders slumping while he sighed another hopeless sigh. "I think we've all said some stupid things on that site, and a lot of it's taken out of context," he said, shrugging. "It's also not as if a person can express their tone of voice through a chat that's not 'IRL', or even 'IM'..."_

"_I'd appreciate it if you left now," Mohinder said, taking a seat... in his computer chair. "I don't want to have to resort to unnecessary means of violence, and I know __**you**__ don't... right?" Silently, he chuckled to himself._

_As the unwanted visitor turned around, he murmured, "Well fuck you, too..."_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 9, Luke Campbell**_

**Luke Campbell**  
>FUUUK it UP!<br>-5 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Lyle Bennet<strong> and **2 others** like this.

**West Rosen**  
>Like your mama.<br>-5 hours ago – Like

**Luke Campbell**  
>HAHAHAHAHA.<br>Take your meds, west.  
>-5 hours ago – Like<p>

**West Rosen**  
>I would have but you took them all.<br>-5 hours ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Somebody did.<br>-5 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>What's the point to posting things like this?<br>-5 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Luke Campbell**  
>Sy, you trying to take sexy away from my status?<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>No, I was trying to bring intelligence back to it.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**West Rosen**  
>AHHH AHHHH AHHHH!<br>Run Netflix, run!  
>-6 hours ago – Like<p>

**Luke Campbell**  
>U took the numbers right off my credit, bitch.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**West Rosen**  
>And put them into my account.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Do people really talk like this?<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Luke Campbell**  
>Holla back, sex-kitten.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 4 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I'm coming to kill you.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 8 people

**Luke Campbell**  
>Alright, but wait until Next Friday's over.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 14 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>No, that's over a week away.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>Um... WOW, Gabriel.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 7 people

**West Rosen**  
>You on everyone's page, Micah?<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000

–

**Luke Campbell**  
>Holy shit where did all the music go?<br>-8 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Anywhere but the radio, I would guess.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>Sylar, did you even read his last post?<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 4 people

–

**Luke Campbell**  
>NOO I MELTED MY IPOD!<br>-10 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Micah Sanders**  
>Don't be a drag, just be a queen. :D<br>-10 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Luke Campbell**  
>STFU.<br>-10 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Oh.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 1 person

0.0.0

"_Luke."_

_No answer._

"_Luke."_

_Still no answer._

"_Luke, I am __**not**__ your father."_

_Luke laughed, finally. "Praise the lord," he said, laughing some more. "What brings the devil's advocate down to Georgia this time?"_

"_We're not in Georgia."_

"_Duh."_

"_Anyway," he continued, "I wanted to talk to you about facebook..."_

"_Uuh..." Luke raised an eyebrow. "And you couldn't have this talk with me __**on**__ facebook be__**cause**__...?"_

"_I wanted to __**see**__ you."_

"_Too late, I already hooked-up with someone even cooler than you."_

_He smiled at Luke. "That's not what I meant and you know it, and you know the amount of time you are spending on facebook is not healthy."_

_Again, Luke laughed. "Wow, you care for me that much? I was unaware you even knew me that much."_

"_Believe it or not, I do consider you a friend now," he said, calmly. He continued to smile, though it was damn hard to keep that smile turned upright. "I came here because I wanted to know if you wanted to, I don't know, hang out this week?"_

"_Ask me again next week," Luke replied, pointing to his calendar. "Until Monday the 13__th__, I've got the Mafia Wars tournament on facebook, and as a high-paid hit man I have a lot of people with tommy guns to off and a lot of drug runners to deal with."_

_He stared at Luke blankly. "I'll be seeing you, I guess... on facebook."_

"_Of course you will!" Luke waved at him. "Hurry up and leave, since the sooner you leave, the sooner we can talk."_

"_..."_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 10, Hesam Malik**_

**Hesam Malik**  
>I just got suspended for three days.<br>-16 hours ago via Android – Like – Comment

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Well SO DID I.<br>-16 hours ago – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>Well, since we're both suspended, you want to grab drinks tonight?<br>-16 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>No.<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Hesam Malik**  
>I'm sorry for what I did, Peter...<br>-16 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Me too... fine, I'll go...<br>-16 hours ago – Like

**Emma Coolidge**  
>That's more like it.<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>That was more like ridiculous.<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 11 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>That was awesome.<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 1, 000, 000, 000 people

–

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Let's see how you and everyone likes the picture I just took of your black eye.<br>-15 hours ago via Android – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Gabriel Gray<strong> and **4 others** like this.

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Nice.<br>What you did, not of you.  
>The latter was a lie.<br>-15 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Yeah whatever thanks for calling me up I guess.<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Anytime.<br>-15 hours ago – Like

**Emma Coolidge**  
>Peter, that was UNCALLED for.<br>Gabriel, don't encourage Peter to do bad things!  
>-15 hours ago – Like<p>

**Hesam Malik**  
>I am going to kick your ass as soon as I find you, Peter.<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 5 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Turn around. :)<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 5 people

–

**Hesam Malik  
><strong>

**Crazy stuff at work**  
>2 new photos<p>

-15 hours ago am via Android – Like – Comment – Share  
>-<strong>Thomas Miles<strong> and **13 others** like this.

**James Davidson**  
>LMFAO!<br>I'm making sure everyone sees this.  
>-15 hours ago – Like – 6 people<p>

**Kenneth Landon**  
>XD! CLASSIC!<br>We're all laughing SO HARD RIGHT NOW.  
>-15 hours ago – Like – 3 people<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>That is not funny, and you -are- going to take it down.<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Hesam Malik**  
>Make me.<br>-15 hours ago – Like

–

**Hesam Malik**  
>Some-bo-dy's as-leep in the am-bu-lance<br>Guess that means they had a lo-ong ni-i-ight...  
>-15 hours ago via Android – Like – Comment<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Too bad he didn't.<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Emma Coolidge**  
>You need to wake him up, Hesam.<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**James Davidson**  
>No you don't, you need to take a pic so the rest of us will know it's TRUE...<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 8 people

**Hesam Malik**  
>Okay I did it, I'm uploading it now.<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 4 people

0.0.0

"_Well," he said, turning from the door as certain sounds made their ways through it, "at least Hesam found something better to do than facebook, unlike me, so I'll have my little one-on-one with him later..."_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 11, Micah Sanders**_

**Micah Sanders** is now friends with **Zezdir Zzenez **and **everyone else** on facebook. – Like – Comment

-View all **601, 774, 094 comments**

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Micah this is... yeah...<br>-3 minutes ago – Like – 29 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>IDEK? For once I have to agree with you on that, Peter.<br>-2 minutes ago – Like – 14 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>They'll never stop him.<br>-1 minute ago – Like – 632, 976, 098 people

**Molly Walker**  
>Ha I love you, Micah!<br>-just now – Like – 1 person

–

**Micah is "Moving on Up" to level 100, 000, 000!**

Micah Sanders's City just reached "Capitol of the Universe" status in CityVille!  
>Click below to celebrate by claiming a bonus XP!<p>

12 hours ago via CityVille – Like – Comment – Get CityVille XP  
>-View all <strong>403, 894, 094 comments<strong>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Goddamn, Micah!<br>-2 minutes ago – Like – 67 people

**Monica Dawson**  
>Micah, this has gotta stop.<br>-2 minutes ago – Like – 24 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>You should work in politics.<br>-1 minute ago – Like – 2 people

**Diaz Gonzales**  
>Your city crashed my comp!<br>The damn thing never ends!  
>-just now – Like – 7 people<p>

**Micah Sanders**  
>I am the king.<br>-just now – Like – 1, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000 people

–

**Micah Sanders**  
>Hi.<br>-13 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-View all <strong>234, 008, 733 comments<strong>.

**Noah Bennet**  
>Right...<br>-2 minutes ago – Like – 87 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>CIA's on their way, Micah.<br>-1 minute ago – Like – 348 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>I'm not even in the US right now.<br>In fact, maybe I'm in cyberspace.  
>Maybe I'm watching you through your wall.<br>Maybe I can see you through your tvs, your phones, your ipods.  
>Micah knows all.<br>-just now – Like – EVERYONE! people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Damn, guess you are more special than I had originally thought, and that I should have taken your ability when I had the chance...<br>And I always knew there was something mildly creepy about you.  
>-just now – Like – EVERYONE! People<p>

0.0.0

"_What in the..."_

'_Hello my friend, I knew you would come... but you will never find me for now, I am lost in cyberspace... With the information I have compiled from your online activity, I do suspect it will not be long before you are tempted yet again by the dark side of the force. Fear not, as you are not the only jedi with this mission.' He covered his mouth, unsuccessfully masking his laughter. 'So, yes, get out there, do the evil, and kick some ass. I'll appear when the time comes. Have a great day!'_

_He repeated, "What in the..."_

_The pre-recorded footage ended, and the sound of Micah's mischievous laughter faded away into the same nothingness the gigantic screen now had to show._

"_Hell," he added._

_Afterwards, he left the building, which __**had**__ strangely resembled more of a bat-cave..._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 12, Ando Masahashi**_

**Recent Activity  
>-Ando Masahashi<strong> is married to **Kimiko Nakamura. **– Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Hiro Nakamura<strong>, **Kimiko Nakamura**, and **76 others** like this.

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>YATTA!<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 6 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>I'm happy for you!<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Best wishes!<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Noah Bennet**  
>Congratulations, Ando!<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Best wishes, dear.<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>Aww! :D<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Emma Coolidge**  
>Congrats, you two! :)<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Kimiko Nakamura**  
>I love you. :)<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Ando Masahashi**  
>I love you too, Kimi!<br>-16 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Best of luck to you both!<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Congrats!<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy!<br>-15 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>R.I.P. Ando's sex life.<br>But sure, good luck or whatever.  
>-15 hours ago – Like<p>

–

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Another private post for mostly-specials...<br>I just had to say that my mouth STILL tastes like cotton...  
>-Yesterday at 8:01pm – Like – Comment<p>

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>I wonder why...<br>-Yesterday at 8:10pm – Like – 2 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>Mine too, mine too...<br>-Yesterday at 8:16pm – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Well, I suppose we all deserve it.<br>-Yesterday at 8:20pm – Like – 1 person

**Peter Petrelli**  
>HA! Mine doesn't! xD<br>-Yesterday at 8:30pm – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Yes, Peter... wonder why?<br>-Yesterday at 8:33pm – Like – 6 people

**Claude Rains**  
>That was THE best party ever, Ando.<br>A little cotton was worth it...  
>-Yesterday at 8:41pm – Like – 3 people<p>

**Noah Bennet**  
>I'm never going to a bachelor party again.<br>-Yesterday at 8:54pm – Like – 17 people

**Claude Rains**  
>Poor Noah... I'm getting the sniffles right now.<br>And to think, you could once hold a beer!  
>-Yesterday at 8:58pm – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>That party was more like a bunch of us getting together to celebrate a twenty-four hour countdown to the apocalypse than it was a celebration of Ando's marriage to come.<br>-Yesterday at 9:12pm – Like – 8 people

**Ando Masahashi**  
>You weren't even invited, Sylar! So how DID you find us?<br>The party was in SPAIN!  
>-Yesterday at 9:20pm – Like<p>

**Matt Parkman**  
>Ando, you really have to ask that question?<br>-Yesterday at 9:23pm – Like – 1 person

**Ando Masahashi**  
>...guess not.<br>-Yesterday at 9:27pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I didn't tell him where the party was.<br>And it's not my fault he followed me.  
>-Yesterday at 9:31pm – Like<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Besides, he was more f'd up than any of us.<br>-Yesterday at 9:33pm – Like – 10 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I wonder WHY, because I didn't slip anything into my OWN drinks.<br>Much less push any thoughts into my OWN head...  
>...PETER.<br>-Yesterday at 9:35pm – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>You all got what you deserved.<br>-Yesterday at 9:41pm – Like – 13 people

–

**Ando Masahashi**

**The most special bachelor party in the world**

-Yesterday at 10:09am – Like – Comment – Share

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>I told you not to upload this video... :(<br>-Yesterday at 10:14am – Like – 17 people

**Noah Bennet**  
>TAKE IT DOWN!<br>-Yesterday at 10:23am – Like – 23 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>Looks like Freddy Krueger isn't all people should worry about when they sleep now.<br>I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of eternity about this vid.  
>-Yesterday at 10:30am – Like – 3 people<p>

**Gretchen Berg**  
>...That... was...<br>...fucking... AMAZING!  
>-Yesterday at 10:36am – Like – 4 people<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>TAKE THAT DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!<br>-Yesterday at 10:45am – Like – 7 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Ando, you ARE going to take this down, unless you want your head taken off instead.<br>And just so I can say it first... fuck you, Ando. Knowing the NET, the NET will capture this before it shows up all over FB via YT you stupid moron!  
>-Yesterday at 10:50am – Like – 10 people<p>

**Micah Sanders**  
>Too late, I've already seen this vid in 34 different FBs, even a German porn collective.<br>-Yesterday at 10:51am – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Oh hell... Ando...<br>TAKE IT DOWN!  
>-Yesterday at 10:58am – Like – 3 people<p>

**Matt Parkman**  
>PLEASE tell me those were the shape shifters...!<br>-Yesterday at 11:03am – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Parkman, that WAS you getting 'down right round'...<br>-Yesterday at 11:06am – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Yes, and that was you and Peter getting 'stripped down to the bone'...<br>-Yesterday at 11:10am – Like – 3 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Damn, guys...<br>What were you on, crack?  
>-Yesterday at 11:13am – Like – 4 people<p>

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Great video. Bravo. Lovely.<br>And don't fret it, Noah, my friend... you -were- 'born that way'...  
>Hiro, congrats to you for being the one male special still in possession of a brain.<br>-Yesterday at 11:16am – Like – 2 people

**Claude Rains**  
>The best part was when Peter got scorched by that exploding shot of absinthe after he took that Chris guy's power.<br>Lad was right... crazy mimics, never know what OR who they're gonna do next...  
>-Yesterday at 11:19am – Like<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I loved it when YOU decided to work the pole, Claude!<br>-Yesterday at 11:21am – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>I tried to stop them, but they were all too drunk!<br>Or stoned... drugs were for Sylar in case he showed up, but instead of knocking him out, they just made him YATTA.  
>-Yesterday at 11:22am – Like – 5 people<p>

**Claire Bennet**  
>Thanks for my new screen saver, Ando.<br>-Yesterday at 11:27am – Like – 2 people

**Samuel Sullivan**  
>Sheesh, this vid's so popular it's even in prison.<br>-Yesterday at 11:30am – Like – 10 people

–

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Okay, we all ready for tonight?<br>And no, we will NEVER regret it! XD  
>-Wednesday at 5:14pm – Like – Comment<br>-**Eric Lee Harrison**, **John Mulligan**, and **41 others** like this.

**Noah Bennet**  
>Nope, I can't imagine anything going wrong. ;)<br>-Wednesday at 5:18pm – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Nothing bad's gonna happen!<br>-Wednesday at 5:22pm – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>I'm sure everything will remain under control.<br>-Wednesday at 5:26pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Nope, we won't regret it! xD<br>-Wednesday at 5:30pm – Like – 2 people

**Claude Rains**  
>It's not like we're going to make idiots of ourselves.<br>-Wednesday at 5:34pm – Like

**Eric Doyle**  
>It's going to be the show of all shows!<br>-Wednesday at 5:40pm – Like – 5 people

**Ian Michaels**  
>I can't wait! :D<br>-Wednesday at 5:45pm – Like

**Chris Bowman**  
>As long as we don't burn the place down, right? :D<br>-Wednesday at 5:49pm – Like

**Josh Davis**  
>Right there with you, guys!<br>-Wednesday at 5:56pm – Like

**Evan Davis**  
>Right there with you, bro!<br>-Wednesday at 5:59pm – Like – 1 person

**Bo LoFontaine**  
>This is gonna be crazier than anything even Samuel could have come up with.<br>Which is great.  
>-Wednesday at 6:03pm – Like<p>

**John Mulligan**  
>If it gets TOO crazy I'll just... rewind things a bit so that I was never there. xD;<br>-Wednesday at 6:10pm – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Oh no... this will be a nightmare. :(<br>-Wednesday at 6:12pm – Like – 2 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>SOMEONE's gonna die at this party, I just KNOW it.<br>SOMEONE ELSE better be reading this because if SOMEONE dies and SOMEONE ELSE is not there to lend a healing hand I'll KILL that SOMEONE ELSE.  
>-Wednesday at 6:15pm – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Fine, I'll go.<br>-Wednesday at 6:18pm – Like – 1 person

0.0.0

"_...Is this about my party?"_

"_No," he replied, shaking his head, "it's about facebook." He heard Ando emit the sigh of doom – not relief – prompting him to emit the sigh of irritation. "I may not be able to remember things as clearly as I would __**not**__ like to, but I do remember that everyone was using their phones to post stupid things on their facebooks from dusk until dawn... of the dead."_

"_I remember you doing the same thing," Ando frowned at him, "so you're really not one to talk."_

"_The party's not the problem, Ando." He folded his arms. "You know what the real problem is for us now."_

_Ando snapped his fingers, and then, removed his cellular phone from the right-hand pocket of his pants. "Oh," he said, using the phone's touch-screen feature to scroll down to a particular app. "I have to take this real quick, can you hold on for a second?"_

"_Sure," he sighed._

_After Ando had heard the sigh of remorse, he went into his bedroom; peeking out the crack through the door until the door was fully shut..._

_A minute went by._

_Three minutes went by._

_Five minutes went by._

_He wasn't going to sit out there for an entire hour. "Ando?" When there was no answer, he approached the bedroom door, knocking on it several times. "Ando," he said again, finally opening the door._

_Ando had left the building, probably via Hiro for a little via iphone._

"_Damnit," he muttered._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 13, Claude Rains**_

**Claude Rains**  
>I snuck into a strip club today, but that's not the best part.<br>The best part is... I saw one of 'us' there...  
>-3 hours ago – Like – Comment<p>

**Noah Bennet**  
>Who was it?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>Can't tell you that, you're going to have to guess.<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Ando?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>Nope.<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Parkman?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>Nope.<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Surely it wasn't Hiro, Peter, or Mohinder.<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>It wasn't.<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>...Sylar?<br>No, -has- to be one of the carnies...  
>-2 hours ago – Like<p>

**Claude Rains**  
>I never said it was a guy.<br>-2 hours ago – Like

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Do you want to die, Claude?<br>-2 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>What was the name of this club?<br>I... need to drop by...  
>-2 hours ago – Like – 22 people<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Yeah, me too.<br>-2 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>Leave Tracy alone.<br>But, I too shall drop by that club, as long as no one else I know is there.  
>Therein, I will be gathering data on the rest of you to spam the world with.<br>-2 hours ago – Like – 1, 000, 000, 000 people.

–

**Claude** **Rains**  
>Someone didn't know I was in their bedroom last night...<br>-12 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Noah Bennet**  
>Whose bedroom were you in?<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>Can't tell you that, you're going to have to guess...<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Rachel's?<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>Nope.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Gale's?<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>Nope.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Tracy's? Emma's? Angela's...? O.o;;<br>Better NOT have been Claire's...  
>-12 hours ago – Like<p>

**Claude Rains**  
>I never said it was a lady's bedroom.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>...Okay, I don't want to know.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>I'll give you a two-letter hint, though.<br>1st letter: S  
>AND...<br>2nd letter: M  
>-12 hours ago – Like<p>

**Noah Bennet**  
>Oh, I know now...<br>Claude, I don't know whether or not to feel sorry for you, because you willingly subjected yourself to that.  
>-12 hours ago – Like<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I have no idea what he's talking about, Noah.<br>Seriously, I don't.  
>-12 hours ago – Like<p>

**Noah Bennet**  
>Sure, Peter... I believe you...<br>-12 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Matt Parkman**  
>LOL, look WHO likes your comment, Noah!<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>HA HA HA!<br>-12 hours ago – Like

–

**Claude Rains**  
>Isn't it possible for a guy to go to a pub without having to worry about the ghostbusters showing up?<br>-Yesterday at 11:06pm via Mobile Web – Like – Comment

**Gabriel Gray**  
>-I- called the 'ghostbusters' after -I- caught the invisible man sleeping in my bed, you son of a bitch.<br>-Yesterday at 11:30pm – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>That's why this post is only "visible" to you, so I could let YOU know I don't need the damn company busters following me around just because SOMEONE chose NOT to tell you I was THERE, BEFORE YOU.<br>Bloody idiot, you didn't even know, did you?  
>-Yesterday at 11:33pm – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>SOMEONE was under the impression YOU were GONE.<br>And you don't need to worry about the ghost/company busters anymore; you need to worry about the BRAIN BUSTER.  
>-Yesterday at 11:36pm – Like<p>

**Micah Sanders**  
>LOL you guys...<br>-Yesterday at 11:37pm – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>STOP HACKING OUR ACCOUNTS, LAD!<br>-Yesterday at 11:39pm – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>There really is no way to stop him...<br>-Yesterday at 11:41pm – Like – 1 person

**Micah Sanders**  
>Bitch, please.<br>-Yesterday at 11:41pm – Like – 1, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000 people

0.0.0

"_Claude... I __**know**__ you're there," he said, smirking thereafter. "People don't always have to see it to believe it these days."_

"_I was unaware they ever did," Claude replied. He decided not to drop his invisible veil, as it really was his favorite suit to wear to work. "What do you want?" he asked._

"_We need to talk," he said, taking a seat on the stool at Claude's left, "because all of us are having a problem and it's my responsibility as a hero to do something about it."_

"_What?" Claude covered his mouth one hand. "You're." He laughed. "Going to save the world from facebook?"_

_He frowned. "Get serious," he said, tapping his fingers against the bar. "Even if we never speak to one another, I'd rather never speak to you at all than exclusively on facebook."_

"_Calm down," Claude slid a beer to him, "and have this."_

"_I don't want anything to drink, Claude."_

_Claude straightened his back, a smart expression surfacing on his face. "If you will make the slightest attempt to relax, I just might consider endorsing your new quest."_

_Thus, the drink was drunk, and when he fell to the floor, they all thought he __**was**__ drunk._

_On his mobile phone, Claude sent Noah a FBPM to thank him for the drugs, and then an additional PM to Angela, to thank her for the warning, and to call her a bitch._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 14, Alex Woolsly**_

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Oh my god this Superman convention is KILLING ME right now!<br>-1 hour ago via Android – Like – Comment

**West Rosen**  
>Why?<br>-1 hour ago – Like

**Monica Dawson**  
>I told you it was going to be crazy, you should have taken the day off.<br>-1 hour ago – Like

**Alex Woolsly**  
>You're right, Monica...<br>And West, it's crazy because someone STOLE issue #1 from the case and I am telling you it was ALL downhill from there, dude...  
>-49 minutes ago – Like<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>OMG that's HORRIBLE! :O<br>-35 minutes ago – Like – 1 person

**Claire Bennet**  
>What happened to whoever tried to steal it?<br>-28 minutes ago – Like

**Alex Woolsly**  
>We don't know! Whoever stole it had some kind of abilities that allowed him to not only break the case with a scattering SCREAM or something, but then, the comic flew RIGHT out the door before someone flew AWAY with it! What's weirder was all the gold they left behind to pay for it with...<br>-25 minutes ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>...shit.<br>-22 minutes ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>...Didn't YOU always want that comic book, Peter?<br>-10 minutes ago – Like – 1 person

**Micah Sanders**  
>Lmao.<br>-9 minutes ago – Like – 1, 000, 000, 000 people

–

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Guess who got a, you guessed it... brand... new... CAR!<br>Nah, I really got something better... a HOT TUB!  
>-Yesterday at 7:14pm – Like – Comment<p>

**West Rosen**  
>Cool, now all you need are some hot girls to go with it!<br>-Yesterday at 7:27pm – Like – 3 people

**Rachel Mills**  
>Why did you need a hot tub?<br>-Yesterday at 7:36pm – Like – 2 people

**Alex Woolsly**  
>To live in.<br>-Yesterday at 7:40pm – Like – 1 person

**Monica Dawson**  
>Say what?<br>-Yesterday at 7:43pm – Like

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Fine. To score in.<br>-Yesterday at 7:48pm – Like – 2 people

**West Rosen**  
>I've never tried doing it in the sky before. You're lucky you can use your ability safely like that.<br>-Yesterday at 7:51pm – Like – 1 person

**Claire Bennet**  
>Wow, um... you guys don't get out much anymore, do you?<br>-Yesterday at 7:55pm – Like – 5 people

**Alex Woolsly**  
>I was just messing with him, I bought the tub just because I like hot tubs, so I was making a joke.<br>-Yesterday at 7:59pm – Like

**West Rosen**  
>Liar, you're just sucking up to Claire.<br>-Yesterday at 8:03pm – Like – 1 person

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Was not.<br>-Yesterday at 8:09pm – Like

**West Rosen**  
>Whatever I'm going to get high, in the sky.<br>-Yesterday at 8:12pm – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>West, then why were you just googling the potential jail time for possession of class c substances and the details of dorm party extremes?<br>-Yesterday at 8:15pm – Like – 11 people

**Claire Bennet**  
>West, please don't do it.<br>-Yesterday at 8:17pm – Like – 4 people

**West Rosen**  
>Micah... STOP HACKING OUR ACCOUNTS!<br>AND our comps!  
>-Yesterday at 8:17pm – Like – 3 people<p>

–

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Can you guess my favorite part of bedknobs and broomsticks? :D<br>-Wednesday at 6:10pm – Like – Comment

**Monica Dawson**  
>Bobbing along, singing a song?<br>-Wednesday at 6:18pm – Like – 1 person

**Alex Woolsly**  
>...on the bottom of the beautiful briny, shimmery shiny sea. :D<br>-Wednesday at 6:22pm – Like – 3 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I love that movie!<br>-Wednesday at 6:30pm – Like – 1 person

**Alex Woolsly**  
>You ever want to try the coolest ability in the world, you know where to find me!<br>-Wednesday at 6:35pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>It wouldn't really help me much on the job, but sure, why not?<br>-Wednesday at 6:39pm – Like

**Micah Sanders**  
>LOL don't come up for air any time soon, Peter. The 'Sci-fi' never ends for you.<br>-Wednesday at 6:40pm – Like – 5 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>What...?<br>-Wednesday at 6:43pm – Like

**Claire Bennet  
><strong>:/...  
>-Wednesday at 6:50pm – Like – 8 people<p>

0.0.0

"_Who are you?"_

_He blinked. "You actually," he blinked again, "__**don't**__ recognize me?"_

_Alex blinked at him. "...Should I?"_

_Silence._

_Alex thought about it a little more. He truly didn't recognize this strange visitor, but then..._

"_Oh," Alex smiled. He knew this person! How could anyone in his universe __**not**__ know __**this**__ guy? "...__**You're**__ on my __**facebook**__ page!" he said. Now, he knew there was no mistake. "Sure, you're a... friend of a friend of a friend of Claire's, right?"_

_As he frowned at Alex, he said, "You knew who I was __**before**__ facebook." After another brief moment of silence had passed, he added, "And I'm a very __**direct**__ contact of Claire's."_

"_Oh," Alex said again. "You're one of the guys stalking her, aren't you?"_

"_...I," he stuttered, dragging a hand back through his hair. "I think I should leave before I fail at resisting the urge to harm you."_

"_Oh," Alex said yet again. "That's fine, because I need to get back on facebook and find out what's up at the comic store."_

_He turned on his heel, muttering, "Something else is going to get stolen..."_

"_What?"_

"_Nothing."_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 15, Tracy Strauss**_

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Sometimes, I think all men are idiots.<br>-3 hours ago via iphone – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Monica Dawson<strong>, **Gabriel Gray**, and **11 others** like this.

**Noah Bennet**  
>I take it that some guy was rude to you today.<br>-3 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Robert Malden**  
>I did nothing more than say how lovely she looked.<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Oh, I get it...<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Robert Malden**  
>And who are YOU mister I-get-it-Bennet?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>A friend of Tracy's.<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Robert Malden**  
>What KIND of 'friend'?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>...A facebook friend?<br>-3 hours ago – Like

**Robert Malden**  
>Oh, okay. That's not a big deal, then.<br>Tracy, please call me, dear!  
>-3 hours ago – Like<p>

**Tracy Strauss**  
>IN YOUR FACE...<br>...BOOK!  
>-3 hours ago – Like – 27 people<p>

**Micah Sanders**  
>Rebel has commenced, operative solution in check.<br>-3 hours ago – Like – 1, 000, 000, 000 people

–

**Tracy Strauss**  
>SPFS...<br>I'm still working on seeing to the passing of the bill that will make our abilities part of our second-amendment rights.  
>-6 hours ago – Like – Comment<br>-**John Mulligan**,** Evan Davis**, and** 17 others** like this.

**Monica Dawson**  
>That's great!<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>If that does work out, I would assume it comes with a catch somewhere... sadly, there's always a catch.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>So like, flying if we fell from a building would be cool, but not flying just for fun?<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**West Rosen**  
>Peter, that does sound bad, but I don't imagine anything like that's gonna happen.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>I think the bill's primary goal is to permit the use of more 'violent' abilities only through a means of self-defense.<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>So flying cool, electric manipulation not so cool?<br>-6 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>I'm sure electric manipulation would be just fine, but not just fine just for fun out in the streets, if you know what I mean.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I think this is all bad news, and that eventually, I won't be able to telekinetically pull a cup of coffee into my hand at the local diner without being shot at for trying to murder someone.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Sylar, stop your drama.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Peter, stop wearing that ass-hat.<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>Take it to your OWN pages, guys...<br>-6 hours ago – Like – 13 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>In relation to the bill, Noah has it right.<br>Peter, stop your drama.  
>Sylar, stop wearing that ass-hat.<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 16 people

–

**Tracy Strauss** was tagged in **Peter Petrelli's** album

**Good times**

-12 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Hesam Malik<strong>, **Eric Doyle**, and **48 others** like this.

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Cute!<br>-12 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Noah Bennet**  
>Cute? Don't you mean 'sexy'?<br>-12 hours ago – Like – 10 people

**Claude Rains**  
>Yes, I'd like to melt the dry ice on that ass.<br>-12 hours ago – Like – 15 people

**Noah Bennet**  
>Which ass, Claude?<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>BONG, you know the answer to that... BINGA BONG, BOO.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Dad... what's going on?<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Nothing, Claire.<br>Claude and I are simply under the influence while on facebook, that's all. :)  
>-12 hours ago – Like – 3 people<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Peter, when -did- you go sailing with her?<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>A person's photo album really isn't the place for all this, is it?<br>-12 hours ago – Like – 6 people

**Hesam Malik**  
>Oh WOW Peter is THIS your mystery-person?<br>She is HOT.  
>-12 hours ago – Like – 3 people<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Fuck you, Hesam.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>You and Peter fighting over the same girl?<br>Wow, that explains EVERYTHING between you guys!  
>-12 hours ago – Like – 11 people<p>

**Claude Rains**  
>LMIAO.<br>...AAHHHH!  
>-12 hours ago – Like – 8 people<p>

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Peter, please either un-tag me, or delete these comments...<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Tracy I'm SO sorry I didn't see them until they were made!<br>I NEVER should have left facebook, even for an hour, so I'm REALLY sorry!  
>-11 hours ago – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>...I don't even know what to say - this is so downright stupid in every way imaginable that -I- can't even understand it, and it's sort of freaking me out for that very reason...<br>-11 hours ago – Like

–

**Josh needs your help to get the Fruit Crate for their Spring Countdown!**

Josh wants to complete their Spring Countdown item set but is falling behind. You're one of nine friends who can give this item today! Can you lend a hand?

-18 hours ago via FarmVille – Like – Give Item

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Not you too, Tracy!<br>-18 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Tracy Strauss**  
>I think you need some help, so give Josh a fruit crate or get off.<br>-18 hours ago – Like – 7 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Get off...? Get OFF? THAT'S what I've been TRYING to do, for a WEEK!<br>And YOU think I need some help?  
>I THINK I NEED SOME HELP.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

0.0.0

"_Tracy."_

_She looked up. "Oh," she said, moving her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose just long enough to take a better look at him. "How did you get here? Wait, don't answer that, since I already know."_

_He sighed, taking a few steps down the boat's deck. "What exactly are you doing?"_

_Tracy took a sip from her martini, and sat back. "I'm getting a tan, what's it look like?"_

"_So... your laptop needed a tan, too?"_

_She laughed at him. "You're not as much fun as you used to be, are you?" She grinned. "I wonder why?"_

"_Yes," he said, taking a seat in the extendable chair next to her. "I wonder why, too, but surely it has nothing to do with facebook."_

"_You should 'chill'," Tracy replied, taking another sip from her drink. "When you get online, simply navigate sporadically between facebook and other websites. Then you'll be fine."_

_As he watched her type-away at her keyboard, he stated, "Tracy, we both __**need**__ to get off." When she looked at him oddly, he added, "Of facebook."_

_Tracy elicited a casual huff, brushing a hand back through her blonde hair. "I received a number of PMs from the others," she said, casting a quick glance down to her laptop's monitor. "They said you were acting kind of crazy, as usual, and harassing everyone over their facebooks outside of their facebooks."_

_Sardonically, he said, "Harassing?" He laughed, standing from the chair. "Is that what interpersonal communication outside of our facebooks is now?"_

_She shrugged. "Depends on whether or not you're a best-facebook-friend, because if you're not, it can be harassment either way."_

"_...I need to go," he muttered, turning around and slipping his sunglasses back on._

"_Hey," Tracy said, pointing at his receding back, "don't forget to update!"_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 16, Eric Doyle**_

**Eric Doyle**  
>Ahhh she's sooo beautiful!<br>-7 hours ago via Android – Like – Comment

**Noah Bennet**  
>Let me guess... she's blonde?<br>-7 hours ago – Like

**Eric Doyle**  
>AND she's beautiful!<br>-7 hours ago – Like

–

**Eric Doyle**  
>Oh wow I just saw the most prettiest girl!<br>-9 hours ago via Android – Like – Comment

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Let me guess... she's blonde.<br>-9 hours ago – Like

**Eric Doyle**  
>BUT she's beautiful too!<br>-9 hours ago – Like

–

**Eric Doyle**  
>Wow I just met an amazing woman! You won't believe how amazing!<br>-10 hours ago via Android – Like – Comment

**Angela Petrelli**  
>I wonder what color her hair is.<br>-10 hours ago – Like

**Eric Doyle**  
>It's BLONDE! :D<br>-10 hours ago – Like

–

**Eric Doyle**  
>Okay, I'm staring a pole here for 'us' guys (and u barbie's dad)... who do you find the most ravishing between Tracy and Emma?<br>-12 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Don't anyone answer this, -unless- you're an idiot.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Tracy.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Emma. No offense to Tracy, though, since I would hit that.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Emma. She's sweeter.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Definitely Tracy! Talk about hot n' the cold.<br>-12 hours ago – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>They're both equally pretty.<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>Tracy.<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Ian Michaels**  
>Emma... :)<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>I'm not answering this, I don't trust you, and it shouldn't matter who any of these people find more attractive.<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Chris Bowman**  
>Emma.<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Josh Davis**  
>Tracy.<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Evan Davis**  
>Emma.<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Anyone who actually participated in this 'pole' IS a moron.<br>-11 hours ago – Like

**Eric Doyle**  
>Thanks for the votes, everyone!<br>Now, Emma will be my new bride. :D  
>-10 hours ago – Like<p>

**Micah Sanders**  
>Guys, he accidentally forgot to hide this from Rachel, and now all the girls are making secret posts about you with topics ranging anywhere from who would suck most in bed to who has the smallest brain, or wiener.<br>Also, everyone wants to sex up Mohinder now, and Tracy's on the phone atm with Janice talking about how hot he is.  
>-10 hours ago – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>WHY doesn't anyone EVER listen to me UNTIL it's TOO late?<br>-10 hours ago – Like

0.0.0

"_Well, well, well," Doyle said, "if it isn't—"_

_Holding his hand over Doyle's mouth, he whispered, "Please don't say my name out loud here. I don't want people to fall under the impression that you and I are aquatinted." After taking a step back and pointing his finger in Doyle's face, he added, "And no puppetry or I'll turn a trick on you."_

_Doyle wasn't really paying attention to him. "Wow," he said, staring at the gorgeous figure behind his acquaintance, "will you look at that one..."_

"_What?" He turned around, then hearing a snapshot sound which had originated from Doyle's phone. "Hey," he said, turning back to Doyle. "Did you just take a picture of someone you don't even know to upload on facebook?"_

_Doyle was flabbergasted. "Surely you've __**seen**__ my blonde beauty album before."_

"_Surely I have," he said, "__**nt**__."_

"_What exactly __**is**__ it you want?" Doyle asked, having already folded his arms. This guy was nothing but trouble, and he knew it._

"_I'm trying to get some people on my side," he replied. He held up his hands, though the gestures were more of a surrender than a threat. "It's for a good cause."_

_Doyle raised an eyebrow. "What sort of good cause?"_

"_I think..." He exhaled a long, long sigh. "...that we need to get off of facebook."_

_Doyle's laughter was __**so**__ loud it gathered the attention of everyone present within the antique shop._

"_You." He laughed again. "Can't." Another laugh. "Be serious."_

"_Yes," he said, smirking. "I am serious."_

"_But you're one of us!"_

"_No, I'm a... wait." He knew, sadly, that Doyle was right... he did have a problem, too, making him part of the problem. Come again, he'd always had a bad habit of being part of the problem._

_Losing his facebook wouldn't be any easier than losing an ability. While he fell into a brief state of contemplation, Doyle uploaded a few photos to his facebook. "If I bleached my hair, would you pay any more or less attention to me over your phone?"_

"_Maybe over the women, but not over my phone," Doyle said._

"_..."_

0.0.0

_**Facebook 17, Peter Petrelli**_

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I'm so sad...<br>-4 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-View all <strong>62 comments<strong>.

**Micah Sanders**  
>Uh oh this is gonna get crazy.<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 1 person

**Claire Bennet**  
>OMG everything okay?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Emma Coolidge**  
>Are you okay?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Gretchen Berg**  
>I hope you're okay!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Are you alright, Peter?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Please tell me you're okay...<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**West Rosen**  
>You okay, Peter?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Eric Doyle**  
>I'm sorry, hope you're okay.<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Monica Dawson**  
>I hope you're okay and that nothing's wrong!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Did something bad happen?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>Did you get hurt?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>I'm really worried now...<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>I'm worried, too.<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Josh Davis**  
>I hope you're okay!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Evan** **Davis**  
>Are you really okay?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Please be okay Peter!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Everything's going to be fine...!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Rachel Mills**  
>I hope everything's okay!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Millie Houston**  
>Did you kill yourself?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Lyle Bennet**  
>OMG PETER are you REALLY okay, man?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Guys we've got to make sure he's okay he's not answering his phone!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Ian** **Michaels**  
>I really hope nothing bad happened to him!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>I just called Hiro and we're going to try to find him!<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Do not worry Peter Petrelli we will save you!<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Claire** **Bennet**  
>Okay I'm coming too!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Oh my God I don't know what I'll do if anything happened to him!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Bo LoFontaine**  
>Keep everyone posted, yall!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Eric Lee Harrison**  
>You guys better hurry, he may be dying right now!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Tracy Strauss**  
>OMFG what did I miss?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Kimiko Nakamura**  
>Ando and Hiro are going to help you, okay Peter?<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Amanda Strazzulla**  
>Peter you just CAN'T die! We all love you so much!<br>-4 hours ago – Like – 4 people

**John Mulligan**  
>Wow this is crazy I hope he's okay!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Molly Walker**  
>He's alive in NYC in his apartment hurry up and find him!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Aww thanks guys, I feel so much better now. :)<br>I found the baseball Nathan gave me, it was under my bed.  
>Thanks for your support! Love you guys!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>This... is the most RIDICULOUS thing I have EVER read!<br>You are ALL IDIOTS!  
>Peter, FUCK YOU, AND FACEBOOK!<br>-4 hours ago – Like

–

**Claude Rains**  
>You're a real poodle, Peter!<br>-10 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Noah Bennet<strong>, **Emma Coolidge**, and **29 others** like this.

–

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I love you guys! :)<br>If no one's told you they love you today, don't forget I do!  
>-14 hours ago – Like – Comment<br>-**Hiro Nakamura**, **Evan Davis**, and **71 others** like this.

**Emma Coolidge**  
>We love you too!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>I love you too, Peter!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>You're so nice, we love you as well.<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Angela Petrelli**  
>That's my wonderful son. :)<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Rachel Mills**  
>Aww, thanks, love you too!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>WE LOVE YOU TOO!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Eric Doyle**  
>You're so nice!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Monica Dawson**  
>We love you so much for being such a great guy! :)<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Thanks for being you! :)<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Thank you, Peter, right back to you.<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Janice Parkman**  
>You're SO sweet!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Aww, thank you!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>We all feel the same about you, Peter.<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Molly Walker**  
>LOVE YOU TOO!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Hesam Malik**  
>Thanks, partner!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Millie Houston**  
>How sweet. :)<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Evan Davis**  
>You're such a great person!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Josh Davis**  
>You ARE a great person!<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Samuel Sullivan**  
>Thanks, Peter.<br>-14 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>...Doesn't ANYONE but me find this COMPLETELY INSANE?<br>FUCK.  
>-14 hours ago – Like<p>

–

**Emma Coolidge**  
>We love you, Peter!<br>-16 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Claire Bennet<strong>, **Hiro** **Nakamura**, and **57 others** like this.

–

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I hope you're all having a great day so far!<br>If you are, hope it stays great!  
>If you're not, hope it gets better!<br>-18 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Tracy Strauss<strong>, **Monica Dawson**, and **83 others** like this.

**Claire Bennet**  
>Thanks, hope you're having a great day too!<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Lyle Bennet**  
>Thanks Peter! You too. :)<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Molly Walker**  
>It's going to stay great now! Kisses!<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Angela Petrelli**  
>We love you, Peter.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Rachel Mills**  
>Aww... :)<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Emma Coolidge**  
>Thank you, and you too!<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Thank you very much, Peter.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Huh, I actually feel better now.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Thanks buddy!<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Amanda Strazzulla**  
>If only everyone in the world was more like you!<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Josh Davis**  
>Thanks, bro.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Evan Davis**  
>What my bro said.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>YATTA for Peter! :D<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Kimiko Nakamura**  
>You've got to be the nicest friend my brother and husband have!<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>He really is and he's a great guy!<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Eric Lee Matthews**  
>My day's better already!<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Monica Dawson**  
>I would date you! xD<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Thanks Peter, you really are too sweet.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Uh, yeah Peter, you're so 'nice'.<br>You ever heard that 'less gets you more' expression?  
>If you haven't, you're THAT nice AND that naïve.<br>If you have, you're an evil little attention whore with a dark streak who is in disguise as someone nice and stupid.  
>-18 hours ago – Like<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Don't say mean things in my FB, Sylar!<br>But I'll let it go, you must be having a bad day. :(  
>It'll get better later, I just -know- it...<br>And deep down, so do you...  
>-18 hours ago – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Damn you...<br>-18 hours ago – Like

–

**Monica Dawson**  
>Hope you're having a great day, Peter!<br>-21 hours ago – Like – Comment  
>-<strong>Angela Petrelli<strong>, **Hesam Malik**, and **54 others** like this.

–

**Amanda Strazzulla**  
>Hey Peter you're the best!<br>-22 hours ago – Like – Comment**  
>-Janice Parkman<strong>, **Claude Rains**, and **62 others** like this.

–

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I just saw a puppy! Ah it's so cute. :)<br>-Yesterday at 4:03pm – Like – Comment**  
>-Molly Walker<strong>, **Janice Parkman**, and **88 others** like this.  
>-View all <strong>107 comments<strong>.

**Lyle Bennet**  
>Yay a puppy! :D<br>-12 hours ago – Like – 7 people

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>LOL, um, 'awesome', Peter.<br>-5 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Gabriel Gray**  
>This is SO fucking sad...<br>It HAS to end.  
>-just now – Like<p>

0.0.0

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

"_What are you doing in there?" he shouted._

"_I'm going to end it," he said, hysterically. "I __**am**__ going to __**end**__ it. It's __**over**__, Peter, you hear me? It is __**over**__!"_

_Peter banged on the door again. "This," he said, banging on the door still more, "is ridiculous!" He knew it was. "I __**don't**__ spend too much time on that damn website...!"_

"_Yes you __**do**__!" Sylar exclaimed. He held his arm back, preparing to throw his phone into the nearest wall, but he didn't. No, he had to update his facebook first._

"_Will you __**please**__ come out of there?" Peter asked, though none too nicely. "If you have something to say to me, say it to my face, __**not**__ my facebook," he gritted his teeth, "damnit!"_

_No answer._

"_I __**am**__ going to break the door down!"_

_No answer._

"_I seriously __**will!**__"_

_No answer._

_Finally, he shrugged, and got out his phone. He needed to get on facebook immediately. He'd have a better chance of finding out what Sylar was doing on the other side of the door that way._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 18, Gabriel Gray**_

**Gabriel Gray**  
>In less than ten minutes, I am going to be dead.<br>It's going to be a lot like when Columbo met the guillotine, only I'll know the safety switch isn't already on.  
>Oh, and I'm going to die.<br>I hate you all for hating me.  
>And who DO you guys thinks been out saving the world all week WHILE you were all HERE, anyway?<br>Sigh, life gave me a never-ending supply of lemons, and all I wanted was some apple juice.  
>RIP, me. "He was no longer evil, but evil things kept happening to him." – GG<br>-1 minute ago – Like – Comment

**Peter Petrelli**  
>If anyone hits the 'like' button for this I WILL kick your ass! In fact, I might kill you.<br>Another fact: NOBODY IS GOING TO COMMENT ON THIS. I MEAN IT.  
>I'll handle this...<br>-just now – Like

–

**Recent Activity  
>-Gabriel Gray<strong> is complicated with **Peter Petrelli**. – Like – Comment

-View all **72 comments**.

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>Wow, tell us something else we don't know.<br>-29 minutes ago – Like – 8 people

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Congrats...?<br>-28 minutes ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Yeah sure WHATEVER.<br>Peter wouldn't permit this in his FB!  
>-27 minutes ago – Like – 18 people<p>

**Noah Bennet**  
>Did I miss something...?<br>Don't answer that, I don't want to know what it is I missed.  
>Because I won't miss knowing.<br>-26 minutes ago – Like – 6 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>This is just as hilarious as it is disturbing.<br>-26 minutes ago – Like – 8 people

**Claude Rains**  
>LMIAO.<br>Laughing my invisible ass off.  
>-25 minutes ago – Like – 2 people<p>

**Luke Campbell**  
>Ah man.<br>I waited too long I guess.  
>-25 minutes ago – Like<p>

**West Rosen**  
>I like boomerangs.<br>-24 minutes ago – Like – 5 people

**Ando Masahashi**  
>I forgot what I was going to say.<br>-23 minutes ago – Like – 2 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Gabriel, you're a pathetic hero for this.<br>-23 minutes ago – Like – 4 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>I DIDN'T GET 'COMPLICATED WITH HIM' GD.<br>SYLAR, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID THIS BUT YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE IT DOWN.  
>NOW.<br>THIS IS NOT FUNNY, YOU ARE NOT FUNNY, BUT YOU ARE PATHETIC AND SO IS THIS HALF-ASSED, EMBARASSING ATTEMPT ON YOUR BEHALF AT FLATTERY.  
>START WALKING THE STREETS... AGAIN.<br>BITCH.  
>-22 minutes ago – Like – 14 people<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I DIDN'T DO THIS. SOMEONE HAS OBVIOUSLY DECIDED TO TORTURE ME OVER THE INTERNET. BUT I DON'T CARE.<br>WHEN THE AUTOPSY IS PERFORMED, MY CAUSE OF DEATH WILL READ FACEBOOK.  
>AND YOU, PETER. NEXT TIME YOU BLOW UP, BLOW UP YOUR LOVE DOLL.<br>BITCH.  
>-20 minutes ago – Like<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>OH SO AM I SUPPOSED TO BLOW YOU UP?<br>OH AND FUCK YOU.  
>BITCH.<br>-19 minutes ago – Like

**Gabriel Gray**  
>NO, YOU'RE JUST SUPPOSED TO BLOW ME.<br>FUCK YOU, TOO.  
>BITCH.<br>-18 minutes ago – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Guys I don't think they're complicated.<br>-17 minutes ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>GO BLOW YOURSELF.<br>BITCH.  
>-17 minutes ago – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>FINE, I'M SURE I'D BE BETTER AT IT THAN YOU, ANYWAY.<br>BITCH.  
>-16 minutes ago – Like<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>THAN I -WOULD BE-, BITCH.<br>CALL ME A BITCH ONE MORE TIME  
>AND I WILL KILL YOU.<br>BITCH.  
>-15 minutes ago – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>YOU FAIL AT KILLING, ESPECIALLY AT KILLING ME.<br>...BITCH!  
>-14 minutes ago – Like<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>YOU FAIL AT KILLING SO MUCH YOU COULDN'T EVEN FINISH YOURSELF OFF WHEN YOU TRIED.<br>AND YOU FAIL AT SAVING, TOO. ESPECIALLY AT SAVING YOURSELF.  
>YOU CAN'T SAVE YOURSELF, YOU CAN'T KILL YOURSELF, SO MAN, GUESS YOU ARE...<br>FUCKED.  
>DON'T NEED SEX WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU THAT GOOD OF A FUCKING, DO YOU?.?.!<br>BITCH!.!.!  
>-13 minutes ago – Like<p>

**Gabriel Gray**  
>Please don't talk to me, ever again...<br>-12 minutes ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Peter, that was... yeah, evil... seriously, it was.<br>-10 minutes ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Gabriel, I'm REALLY sorry...!<br>That WAS very mean of me and I'm also REALLY sorry I called you a bitch...  
>Will you come out of the bathroom now? Pretty please with little rainbow sprinkles on top? :)...<br>-8 minute ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>What the...<br>-5 minutes ago – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>...hell?<br>-4 minutes ago – Like – 3 people

–

**Gabriel Gray**  
>I suppose I have to say something here, because it's been SO long since I last have.<br>There.  
>I said something.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – Comment

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>How incognito of you.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>It's not like someone's holding a gun to your head.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 8 people

**Noah Bennet**  
>Matt, that won't work, remember?<br>-8 hours ago – Like

**Matt Parkman**  
>Fine, a guillotine.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 12 people

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Lame.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 10 people

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Very informative.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 3 people

**West Rosen**  
>Have you been watching those twilight movies?<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 16 people

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Sylar, you really, really need to get off of facebook.<br>-8 hours ago – Like – 36 people

–

**Recent Activity  
>Gabriel Gray<strong> added **serial killer** to his lists of employment. – Like – Comment

**Micah Sanders**  
>Lmfao.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Angela Petrelli**  
>Smart move, dear.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Luke Campbell**  
>Damn they really do have all available occupations on here.<br>-18 hours ago – Like – 4 people

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>I don't know why I ever would have expected anything different from you on this site.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Um... you may want to take this down.<br>-18 hours ago – Like – 2 people

**Gretchen Berg**  
>LOL, cool.<br>-18 hours ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>You know, the FEDs do frequent this site, Sylar.<br>-18 hours ago – Like – 7 people

**West Rosen**  
>You're insane, but I guess all I did was state the obvious.<br>So, yeah, when insane people do the insane, guess there's really nothing insanely new about it.  
>-18 hours ago – Like – 29 people<p>

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Well...<br>...which someone is clearly not.  
>And no, I wasn't talking to West; I was talking to YOU, Sylar.<br>-18 hours ago – Like – 21 people

–

**Gabriel Gray**  
>One of these days, I am going to put a baseball bat to your heads and then bash your skulls in. :)<br>-Yesterday at 8:42pm – Like – Comment

**West Rosen**  
>You are not putting a bat to my head.<br>-Yesterday at 8:54pm – Like

**Claire Bennet**  
>Sylar, I will put a bat to your head first.<br>Or, through your head.  
>Or eye socket.<br>-Yesterday at 8:59pm – Like – 22 people

**Matt Parkman**  
>You don't know when to quit, do you?<br>Is this your way of trying to -pretend- to be as 'badass' as you used to feel?  
>Stupid.<br>-Yesterday at 9:08pm – Like – 11 people

**Lyle Bennet**  
>Psycho.<br>-Yesterday at 9:17pm – Like – 29 people

**Tracy Strauss**  
>Idiot.<br>-Yesterday at 9:25pm – Like – 24 people

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>You shouldn't say mean things like this!<br>-Yesterday at 9:32pm – Like – 9 people

**Luke Campbell**  
>I'm excluded from this post, right?<br>-Yesterday at 9:38pm – Like

**Emma Coolidge**  
>Do you need someone to talk to right now?<br>-Yesterday at 9:44pm – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>Sylar, do you really enjoy making yourself look as stupid as you are?<br>-Yesterday at 9:51pm – Like – 13 people

**Micah Sanders**  
>Uh, yeah, guys. Easy to say all this stuff to him over the internet, on his facebook, but try saying it to his actual face.<br>You guys have been really rude to him net-wise over the past week, so I wouldn't put it past him to enact at least -some- method of revenge.  
>Also, he just purchased a bat off of eBay.<br>-Yesterday at 10:00pm – Like

0.0.0

"_Gabriel!" Peter shouted. He stepped back, held out his arm, and with telekinetic energy, forced the bathroom door right off its hinges._

_The mirror... it was covered in blood..._

_However... Sylar was gone..._

_...but the baseball bat wasn't._

"_That's __**it**__," Peter said, picking up the bat. _

_Mindlessly, he laughed to himself._

_The time had come._

"_...I tried talking to all of you," he said evilly, swinging the bat around in the air, "I really did, but you wouldn't listen to me, so now, I have to stop Gabriel from finding the nearest guillotine, and then, I have to get everyone together for a round of batter up your brain..."_

_Then, with the bat, Peter broke the mirror to pieces, the mirror which had bore the words 'I AM FACEBOOK' written on it in blood._

0.0.0

_**Facebook 00, Double Negative**_

Peter smiled darkly.

Lightly patting the end of the bat against the palm of his free hand, he said, "Do I really need to play back anymore footage?"

No one said anything.

He sighed. "Blink once for yes, twice for no."

Everyone blinked twice.

Except for...

"Sylar," he sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry I had to use your memories to help knock some sense into everyone like that, but I arrived at the conclusion that it was a better alternative to knocking _literal_ sense into them with a bat."

Effortlessly, Sylar continued to hover in midair. He wasn't flying, but the feeling wouldn't have been new to him either way. "Peter," he said, "I don't see why you would require a baseball bat to kill."

"Look," Peter said, pointing his finger at Sylar, "this isn't _exactly_ the way I wanted to let everyone know I reacquired my abilities," he turned his head to the others, "but I didn't think FACEBOOK was the ideal place to let anyone know, either!" His head fell back, and he groaned, dragging a hand back through his hair. "And _seriously_, guys, that status stuff in my facebook really _was_ so lame!" he shouted, swinging the bat and breaking a chair.

Claire blinked. Then, she blinked again. When the consecutive blinking gained her no attention, she thought that, with a few thoughts in mind, she could gain his attention that way.

'_Peter, I __**know**__ you can hear this. Please, drop the bat, __**and**__ drop Sylar, because I'm sort of afraid we might need him to protect us from __**you**__.'_

'_He'll drop Sylar before he drops that bat, Claire.'_

'_**Matt, this is a PM outside of FB, so stay out of it.'**_

That one line of Peter's had given Matt what was quite possibly _the_ most power-full migraine he had ever experienced.

'_Drop the bat, Peter!'_

'_Claire, what's the big deal about my bat?'_

'_Gee, I don't know, why don't you try stealing a cookie from every jar here since you've apparently already done that anyway?'_

'_What?'_

'_Listen to all of our thoughts.'_

'_Is he ever going to put that thing down?' West thought._

'_I wish he would go ahead and bash my skull in with that bat so this will be over with," Alex thought._

'_I thought he had matured when all he had really done was given himself a __**bad**__ stomach ache,' Mohinder thought. 'It seems ingenious intuition isn't quite enough to stop the moods and emotions from swinging like that bat of his, though.'_

'_If he has tons of abilities again, why __**does**__ he need the bat to destroy chairs?' Hiro thought._

'_Maybe Sylar taught him a new way to open up our heads with a bat, and this whole thing was a set-up leading up to the bashing up of our heads before, therein, Sylar and Peter join forces in a whole new way to remove our brains, and then, they will feast,' Noah thought._

'_I wonder if Angela knows that's not the bat Sylar instant-purchased from eBay,' Micah thought._

'_If Nathan knew Peter was using the bat he hit his first home run with, he would be so ashamed,' Angela thought._

'_Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck fuck __**fuck**__ what the HELL IS GOING ON HERE?' Hesam thought. 'He has the power to move stuff with his mind and play people's memories back on mirror and that's obviously not all so what if that bat is like his magic wand or something...?'_

Peter set the bat down on the table. "There, you happy now?"

Everyone blinked once.

Instead of the bat, Peter held his hand out. "Okay," he said, hand filling with radioactive energy. "Who here wants to get on facebook when they leave? Huh? I can't hear you! Any takers?" He smiled brightly. "Any at all?"

No takers.

"Good," he said, releasing everyone from their telekinetic restraints. "Now, Hiro and Ando can get you guys home," he shrugged, "unless you _want_ me to help you out."

Hiro shook his head quickly. "No, we don't need your help!"

"And-And we're not getting on facebook," Ando added, shaking his head even more quickly than Hiro.

Peter pointed at Micah. "_Don't_ forget what we agreed on."

Slightly pale in the face, Micah replied, "I won't..."

Peter shrugged again. "Yeah," he said, chuckling to an almost innocent degree, "I'm still not as skilled at picking up powers with intuitive empathy as Sylar, so I'd have to have a one-on-one with you for roughly an hour." The moment he said this, _everyone_ fell pale in the face, and it didn't help when he continued on. "Then, you'd undergo a long speech concerning a combination of my thoughts and feelings on your life and its mistakes until _I_ can figure out what _you_ need to do to _fix_ _up_ your life and your general perception on it."

"I'd rather you take my head off with that bat," Micah said, casually.

"I'll keep that in mind," Peter said.

"Cool," Micah smiled.

"Cool," Peter smiled.

"Cool," Sylar said, continuing to hover in midair as his body rotated around like a planet. "So, everyone 'cool' about the temporary facebook abstinence, or am I going to have to stay up here all night?"

Noah stood from the couch, straightening his back out. At least he knew why no one had heard from Damien in a while; Peter's speech had probably killed him. Nonetheless, that didn't explain much of anything, much less why...

"Sylar," Noah said, making eye-contact with him, "if you want down from there _that_ badly, can't you just fight back with your _own_ abilities?"

Sylar huffed, "No."

Noah was going to ask why, but ultimately, decided not to. The simple explanation was that Peter was, once again, the most powerful of them all.

But, when it came to Peter and Sylar... the explanation was never simple, and Noah didn't want to hear it when he had already mentally signed his death certificate for the zillionth time.

He didn't want the last mental signature to be one of suicide.

0.0.0

"So... it's over."

"Yeah. It's finally over."

"Is... is it really?" Sylar asked.

"Yeah," Peter said again, staring the other man straight in the eyes. "It couldn't go on like that between us. Not anymore. _I_ had to end it... _before_ you did." The wind picked up, a chilly gust blowing back through his hair and swaying his long coat.

"So what becomes of us now?" Sylar asked, voice void of any traceable emotion. "Are _we_ really through?"

Peter nodded at him. "Yes, we're through," he said, walking forwards, slowly closing the space between them. "We're through for good. I'm sorry, but things just became... too complicated," he huffed, "even boring." When Sylar did nothing apart from look at him with that same, nonchalant expression, he held out his arm, sparks of energy filling his hand. "It's over, for _good_..."

Sylar's hand, like Peter's, filled with bright sparks of energy. "It's over... for good," he said, darkly.

Peter smirked. "For good," he said, expressions turning just as dark as Sylar's, "the good of us, and for the world, because now," he launched a firework from his hand, "_we're_ off of facebook so _ha_! In your _real_ face everyone!"

Just as Peter had done previously, Sylar shot a firework up into the sky. "_Finally_," he said, gleaming with inner and outer joy. "We _did_ it, Peter!" He wrapped his arms around Peter, spinning around until Peter's shoes were no longer touching the cement.

Peter laughed the whole while, wrapping his arms back around Sylar's neck. "I _knew_ you were never really angry at me," he said the moment Sylar had let him down. He smiled up at him, arms still around Sylar's neck.

"Well, to be honest," Sylar said, calming his laughter, "I had no idea you wanted to get off of that site just as much as me. I only joined in the first place because you did, so I thought it was the normal thing to do. What you wanted me to do."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Since when have either of us ever been normal?" he asked, staring at him with disbelief. "And why would I ever want you to be like me? If I wanted to date myself I'm sure I could, but that _would_ be just as scary as it sounds."

Sylar chuckled. "It really _would_ be... but in regards to your other statement about 'normality', the answer probably is 'never', but," he shrugged again, "I don't really think talking to each other online when we're sitting right next to each other in bed was all that 'normal' either."

"That's over," Peter said, patting him on the shoulder. He ran his hand down Sylar's arm, gently squeezing him at the elbow. "So, with that out of the way... let's celebrate. For _real_."

"What did you have in mind?" Sylar asked, though... he had a good idea, which was exactly why he was grinning ear-to-ear. And, the roof always was a great place for some special fun.

Then, from his pants, Peter removed... his _phone_...

"...Peter," Sylar muttered. "This isn't funny."

"It's not supposed be." Peter sighed, and brought the phone to his ear. "Hello? Oh, hey. Well thanks all the same for actually _calling_ me this time." He blinked. "...What? ...What? Are you serious?"

Sylar didn't know what was going on, but he definitely wanted to know. "Who are you talking to, and what's wrong?"

The phone fell from Peter's hand, though it thankfully didn't break when it hit the cement. "Claire," he murmured, face etched in a mixture of shock and horror.

Sylar rolled his eyes. "Is she on facebook again _already?_"

Blank stare on his face, Peter replied, "No, she-she's not..." He continued to stand there, almost as if someone had frozen time with him it in. When Sylar's worried expression brought him back to reality, however, he said, "She's been kidnapped and Gretchen thinks she might be dead..."

"...What?" Sylar's mouth fell open. "What the hell happened?"

"I-I don't know and no one else does either!" Peter shouted, hysterically.

Sylar couldn't help it. He panicked. "Well _what_ do we do, Peter?"

"We _have_ to find out what's going on!"

Silence.

Peter's and Sylar's eyes became very shifty; their expressions weary.

Finally, Sylar whispered, "Let's get on facebook..."

"...Yeah," Peter agreed.

0.0.0

_**Facebook 007, Epilogue**_

"And _bam_, we got them!"

_High-five._

Claire grinned. "We sure did," she said, taking a seat on the bed. "Now that they're gonna get caught facebooking after _everything_ they did to stop us _just_ to save their _own_ sex lives," she pat the mattress, "they're going to be the only ones _not_ getting any tonight."

Gretchen smiled, lightly tapping one foot against the floor. "And you're _sure_ this wasn't another one of your scare-Sylar-away-from-Peter schemes?"

"Pssh," Claire said, waving her hand at Gretchen. "Of course it was. Those two haven't argued in _forever_, and it's the behind-the-curtains lovey-dovey stuff that's messing everything up for them, _not_ the internet, so all I did was help give them _something_ to argue about so they can have some good ol' fashion hate-sex and get back to what's normal for them." She laughed to herself, folding her arms. "_I _was the one who asked Peter to join facebook, after all, and I knew once he did that everyone else would, too. _Including_ Sylar."

Gretchen sat down next to Claire, brushing a strand of flowing brown hair back behind one ear. "How _did_ you manage to change Sylar's relationship status to 'it's complicated with Peter' like that, though?" she asked, shaking her head out of amusement, and admiration. "You _did_ get Micah to help you, right?"

"Nope," Claire replied, smartly. "My dad has connections that go _far_ beyond the CIA now, and so does Angela..."

"Scary," Gretchen said between chuckles. "So what do we do now?" She flashed Claire another smile. "Get on facebook to poke fun at the guys?"

"Pssh," Claire repeated. "We're not getting on facebook, we're going to get it on," she said simply, pulling Gretchen in for kiss. "I've been dying to change _my_ relationship status, too..."

0.0.0

"_Claire's fine and you're __**still**__ on facebook, again!"_

"_YOU were a second ago, I know it! I've ALWAYS known what you were doing in the bathroom!"_

"_I just posted on your wall! AREN'T you going to get on facebook and check it out?"_

"_What?" He checked it out. "Oh-Oh no, you did NOT say that in MY facebook! You... ugh, you bitch!"_

"_YOU'RE the bitch! And I am NEVER making you cake for dinner again!"_

"_Yeah, well..." Damn, how to come back at __**that**__ one. "...fuck you."_

_Sylar smirked. "**T**__**ry**__ it," he said, poking Peter in the chest with his pointed index-finger. "__**Just**__ try it." He sneered, slapping the palm of his hand against Peter's chest hard enough to make his back hit the wall. "__**Bitch**__."_

"_**You**__..." Peter growled._

_The apartment was destroyed.  
><em>

0.0.0

**Recent Activity**_  
>-<em>**Peter Petrelli **is engaged to** Gabriel Gray. **– Like – Comment

**Matt Parkman**  
>I'm not falling for this again.<br>-34 minutes ago – Like

**Ando Masahashi**  
>Matt, are you crazy? Get off of facebook before Peter gets you!<br>-31 minutes ago – Like

**Hiro Nakamura**  
>Um, you're here too, Ando-kun...<br>-29 minutes ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>It doesn't matter, they're not getting married.<br>-27 minutes ago – Like

**Alex Woolsly**  
>Yeah, I'm not buying this for ONE second.<br>-25 minutes ago – Like

**Angela Petrelli**  
>...Check out my facebook.<br>-22 minutes ago – Like

**Claude Rains**  
>...Angela you did NOT have that dream!<br>There's no WAY facebook ACTUALLY saved the world!  
>...right?<br>-18 minutes ago – Like

**Rachel Mills**  
>You guys checked your ACTUAL mailboxes yet?<br>-15 minutes ago – Like

**Mohinder Suresh**  
>...I... huh...<br>-8 minutes ago – Like

**Noah Bennet**  
>Oh wow I'm the best man!<br>-7 minutes ago – Like – 1 person

**Claire Bennet**  
>...Well, damn.<br>I didn't mean for THIS to happen...  
>-5 minutes ago – Like<p>

**Angela Petrelli**  
>The world works in mysterious ways, Claire.<br>And so does facebook.  
>And so do I... ":)"...<br>-3 minute ago – Like – 1 person

**Micah Sanders**  
>LOL this is awesome.<br>-2 minutes ago – Like – the whole world

**West Rosen**  
>Stop that already, Micah...<br>-1 minute ago – Like

**Peter Petrelli**  
>It wasn't him...<br>xoxo. ":)"...  
>-just now – Like<p>

**–**

_-End..._

0.0.0

**A/N:**I'm sorry... I don't know what this was.

I sort of did write up most of a fic about Ando's bachelor party, but I'm not sure if I'll finish it. It's probably crazier than this. Or not.

Well, review please, if you have something nice to say. x)


End file.
